Balancing
Balancing is a discipline that is often demanding - requiring flexibility and judgment. Mature mental health requires the capacity to strike and restrike a delicate balance between conflicting needs, goals, responsibilities, desires, etc. The key is the willingness to "let go." This can also be called "giving up": the willingness to relinquish patterns of thought and behavior, beliefs, ideologies or even lifestyles that we have outgrown. It can occur as a judgment made in the moment - or over many years. Giving up parts of ourselves can be painful and confusing - but if we want to live well - throughout life, we need to outgrow habitual ways of coping.
An example of balancing is the challenge of expressing anger. We need the higher parts of our brain to help us discern when to withhold and when to express anger. In one situation we may need to voice anger hotly and loudly, in others, coldly and calmly. Sometimes we should convey it only after much deliberation, and at others - immediately and spontaneously. Beyond this, most of us need to learn how to deal productively with feelings of resentment.
It is also extremely helpful to become skilled at what is called "assertiveness training," a form of gentle, but firm, form of verbal judo whereby we do not allow another person to step on our toes, while at the same time we don't step on theirs. It is designed to help us to avoid being manipulated and teaches us how to balance compassion with firmness.
Love
Because love is such an enormous topic, an adequate discussion of this phenomenon is beyond the scope of this article. As such, the reader is referred to Scott Peck's discussion in The Road Less Travelled and Jack Kornfield: jackkornfield.com/love-vs-attachment/
Overall, the techniques or disciplines listed above can help us function competently in the world. They help one build a "healthy ego."
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
1
1
1
