" . . . resist the gravitational pull on your self-esteem" (page 3).
"Recovery [from the loss of love] means confronting uncomfortable feelings, understanding what they are, and most importantly, learning how to deal with them" (3).
"Unresolved abandonment may be the underlying issue" (page 4).
" . . . the pain [of loss of love] debilitates the strongest, smartest, most self-sufficient among us; . . . it cuts across all ages, cultures, and status levels; and . . . it ultimately is a universal human experience" (page 5).
Now I have come to the end of her preface. But I like to quote her, so I'll keep quoting her.
" . . . unresolved abandonment [is] the underlying source of your addictions, compulsions, and distress" (pages 12-13). So let's be clear. Our addictions and compulsions can be characterized in a manner of speaking as ways we love to act. But Susan Anderson is saying here that we love to act in these ways because of our unresolved grief due to the loss of love earlier in our lives.
"Burying your feelings [of abandonment] leaves them unresolved" (page 14). I may be showing my age by saying this, but she sounds like a broken record. The basic message is that there is no way around grief; the only way is to work through it.
Regarding the stage of withdrawal: "Love withdrawal is just like heroin withdrawal, involving intense craving and agitation for the love you are missing" (page 15). Got that? Heroin withdrawal. Brain chemistry is involved.
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