In moments of incredulity, please refer to the aforementioned study.
From what I can piece together Ron is a veteran, or at least he likes hanging out at the American Legion hall and reading their magazine, “According to my legion magazine . . . John Kerry voted against the flag-desecration amendment four times. Could I vote for this guy? I think not. He doesn’t sound very patriotic to me.”
Ron, on the other hand, considers himself a true yellow-ribbon patriot. “I love my god and country and support our military even though I know in war bad things do happen to civilians with all this powerful artillery used in war nowadays.” You’ve got to hand it to the guy. He knows his military hardware.
That said, advances in nuclear weaponry and the Cheney regime’s first-strike nuclear policy are of no interest. “Robert, you went into great detail about the atomic bomb . . . [and the] B61 variable-yield bomb, etc., which doesn’t mean a whole lot to us out here. If you’re trying to impress us with all this information, forget it.”
I should mention that facts, any facts, do not impress Ron. “ Yes . . . sometimes I make mistakes when trying to get my facts straight, but I’m the kind of guy who shoots from the hip and deals with it later [presidential material?]. I just don’t seem to have much time to spend in the library [definitely presidential material] . . . but I think I’m right about most of the things I say.”
Let me interrupt here with a quote that is not the product of Ron’s mind. It is, however, the product of the same kind of mind. “I know what I believe and I believe what I believe is right.” Guess who? (Hint: This guy believes whatever Dick Cheney tells him to believe.)
Ron identifies himself as “ . . . a conservative Republican . . . [and] a reasonable person.” I suppose they’re not always mutually exclusive—at least they didn’t use to be. “Conservatives believe in smaller government . . . they think you can run your own life without all of this government control [domestic spying good . . . control bad].” Oh sure, “Republicans shoot themselves in the foot once in a while . . . although sometimes they get gun shy and sound a little like being politically correct and cave in to world opinion.” Do I even need to ask when the last time was that Cheney et al caved in to—or even considered—anyone else’s opinion?
I do know of at least one Republican who is gun shy. That would be octogenarian Harry Whittington. But he didn’t get shot in the foot. He got shot in the face and chest by Dick Cheney’s 28-gauge shotgun. More than likely the VP was only aiming for the poor guy’s foot. It’s the hip-shooting thing Conservatives do—never a good idea.
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