Some day they will thank us for all the good we did. Thanks to
our Napalm, they now have a new highway system. Vietnam will
soon be turning the underground tunnel system into a sewer
system. And thanks to our GIs, more women than ever are
working the streets of loving us long time for five dollars.
So my fellow Americans, John Kerry asked who will be the last
to die for a lie. Well, I can now say we know: It will be whoever
wrote this speech.
And finally, World War II, the Sequel.
Tonight we?ll we be interrupting Fear Factor featuring Hermann
Goering to bring you Adolf Hitler in, ?Heil To The Chief.?
?Thank you. Now shut up before you are shot. It is good to be
here in this room where you are forced to listen to every word I
say. Sorry for the dirty fireplace; we had a book burning today in
the bunker. Some of you without heat may want to try that.
Sorry all our energy companies are busy rebuilding all the crap
we blew up.
?The state of the Fatherland on today is booming. In fact, if you
listen you can hear the cannons booming right down the street.
Thanks to my global war on everything, we are fighting the
enemy here, instead of having to go to America.
?And just think how great things are in Poland. We have brought
them freedom. They are now free to do everything we say, and
are learning the joys of slave labor. No more working eight
hours and coming home to a house you can?t afford. We put them
to work for 20 hours and they don?t even need a house.
?There are some that don?t like to be occupied. OK, no problem,
then we?ll shoot you. Problem solved.
?A lot of you, well, the three or four dissidents we haven?t
gassed, are wondering why we are losing about a thousand
soldiers a day. Simple. The more we lose, the more it proves we
are winning. Our enemies are so desperate, they think that by
killing our soldiers and marching down our streets will bring
them victory.
?Dumbkopfs, all I have to do is say we are winning, and voila, we
are. That?s why they call me a dictator
?But that is also the b*tch. Who the hell am I going to blame this
mess on? So today I announce an opposition party. We will call
them the Traitor Party. Funerals will be held Thursday.?
So, Goodnight, Freedom Fighters. Remember, when they beat down your door and take you away, you are dying for a noble cause. And them minute I figure out what it is, I will get back to you.
our Napalm, they now have a new highway system. Vietnam will
soon be turning the underground tunnel system into a sewer
system. And thanks to our GIs, more women than ever are
working the streets of loving us long time for five dollars.
So my fellow Americans, John Kerry asked who will be the last
to die for a lie. Well, I can now say we know: It will be whoever
wrote this speech.
And finally, World War II, the Sequel.
Tonight we?ll we be interrupting Fear Factor featuring Hermann
Goering to bring you Adolf Hitler in, ?Heil To The Chief.?
?Thank you. Now shut up before you are shot. It is good to be
here in this room where you are forced to listen to every word I
say. Sorry for the dirty fireplace; we had a book burning today in
the bunker. Some of you without heat may want to try that.
Sorry all our energy companies are busy rebuilding all the crap
we blew up.
?The state of the Fatherland on today is booming. In fact, if you
listen you can hear the cannons booming right down the street.
Thanks to my global war on everything, we are fighting the
enemy here, instead of having to go to America.
?And just think how great things are in Poland. We have brought
them freedom. They are now free to do everything we say, and
are learning the joys of slave labor. No more working eight
hours and coming home to a house you can?t afford. We put them
to work for 20 hours and they don?t even need a house.
?There are some that don?t like to be occupied. OK, no problem,
then we?ll shoot you. Problem solved.
?A lot of you, well, the three or four dissidents we haven?t
gassed, are wondering why we are losing about a thousand
soldiers a day. Simple. The more we lose, the more it proves we
are winning. Our enemies are so desperate, they think that by
killing our soldiers and marching down our streets will bring
them victory.
?Dumbkopfs, all I have to do is say we are winning, and voila, we
are. That?s why they call me a dictator
?But that is also the b*tch. Who the hell am I going to blame this
mess on? So today I announce an opposition party. We will call
them the Traitor Party. Funerals will be held Thursday.?
So, Goodnight, Freedom Fighters. Remember, when they beat down your door and take you away, you are dying for a noble cause. And them minute I figure out what it is, I will get back to you.
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