Putin's face at this point had relinquished the initial smile. He knew The Donald was serious. Ever the attentive listener, Putin knew to let the American continue.
"So, here's my bottom line Vlad," said the soon-to-be ex-president, proffering a portfolio of bank accounts. "Let me seek asylum in your wonderful country, become a Russian citizen, and if you secure my assets with Russian gold I am only too willing to invest in that fabulous Black Sea area."
And that was it. Air Force One was left idling on the Helsinki airport runway while Donald J Trump, formerly US president, was given a spare seat on President Putin's aircraft on their way back to Moscow.
The US government and news media are still trying to formulate a response to the tumultuous recent events. There is a perplexing torpor about what this means. It's a constitutional crisis like never before in the nation's 242 years of existence.
The sensational scandal can't be easily spun as "agent Trump going AWOL". Many of his ordinary American supporters are even holding street parties congratulating the former president for "flipping the system" in the most audacious way imaginable.
Perhaps surprisingly, people in the US and around the world are not jumping to the seemingly obvious conclusion of Trump being a Russian renegade. Many are contending a more subversive thought: is this how bad American politics have become that even an American president wants out of it? Not only that, but the place he feels most secure in is Russia -- the supposed rogue nation that Western news media never stopped slandering.
Latest unconfirmed reports out of Russia say that The Donald has been joined by his wife Melania and son Barron. Their Black Sea condominium has a magnificent view of Crimea. As for the neighbors? Edward Snowden has popped in a few times already.
With thanks to Randy Martin for the original idea
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