McMillan was receiving 30 to 40 letters daily at Rikers but during the week before the interview was told every day that she had none. She suspects the prison has cut off the flow of mail to her.
Because my pens and paper were confiscated during the two-hour process it took to enter the prison, after the visit I had to reconstruct the notes from our conversation, which lasted an hour and a half. The entry process is normal for visitors, who on weekends stand in long lines in metal chutes outside the prison. My body was searched and my clothing was minutely inspected for contraband, and I had to go through two metal detectors.
During the interview a guard asked McMillan to roll down her sleeves and admonished her once for crossing her legs. "You scratch a hole in the crotch," McMillan said, running a fingernail up and down the crotch seam of her jumpsuit. "You make a small hole. And when the visitor slips you a cigarette you push up your vagina. I am learning a lot in prison. I have gotten very good at hiding books on my way to medical and stealing food to bring back to the dorm."
"It is hard to read, it is hard to write," she went on. "There is constant movement and constant noise."
She was working Sunday on the statement she would read in court Monday. She said it draws heavily from Leo Tolstoy's "The Kingdom of God Is Within You."
McMillan had just finished writing a message to supporters who planned to rally in her support Sunday afternoon in New York City. She told them:
"I came to New York the summer of 2011 to go to school -- Rikers Island was definitely not on my list of intended experiences. Though I did call myself 'a radical' that title stretched only as far to include plans to start a socialist student chapter and study welfare policy with aims of improving it. Within 1 week, these plans were railroaded by the Occupy Wall Street Movement -- and for the following 3 months, I did little else.
"Like many, the eviction of Zuccotti left me lost, searching for that infectious energy that bound so many together in efforts to transform the world. Like many, I've spent the time since trying to understand what we had & striving to get back to it.
"Like many I point to a lack of militancy in our movement -- a commitment of one's entire being -- personally, politically, emotionally & physically -- to the greater good. But I examined what action those beautiful words entailed, I exchanged 'militancy' for the concept of 'love ethic' -- a distinction born of the belief that fights between 'usses and thems' run counter to the collective 'we.' 'We' being human society with each person as an integral part -- that must be seen, heard, felt & loved -- in order to transform the whole.
"Like many, I found my beliefs easy to come by but difficult to act on. I always strived, but often struggled, to see, hear, feel, to love -- even as I expected as much in return. I began to question, 'If it is such a struggle to solidify amongst a few, how can we hope to strengthen love ethic across the many?'
"Unlike most, when my trial began: friends formed a support structure, comrades came to court, journalists reported injustices. When the verdict was read, cries of outrage were heard, the news spread, & sympathy was shared from around the world.
Unlike most, during my weakest hour, I had never felt more supported. Though I had never ever felt more oppressed, I had never felt so loved. I stand resolved to keep fighting, because your love ethic props me up and allows me to do so.
"Unlike most, I am blessed with the support of so many. And though I am thankful, I am also thoughtful of the many forced to face such oppression alone. I know you have already done so much, but I'm going to ask for one thing more:
"If you feel safe enough to share, please raise your hand if you have suffered police violence? If you have suffered sexual violence? If you have suffered the violence of the justice system? If you have suffered the violence of the prison system?
"Oppression is rampant. Take a moment to try & really see, hear, feel the suffering of the many around you. Now imagine the power of your collective love ethic to stand against it.
"Only through the pervasive spread of such a love ethic by the many for the many -- not just the privileged few -- will we finally have ourselves a movement."
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