Then, my friend Corinne gently reminded me to get outside; I am an avid walker, after all. But all winter, I had depended on my mini trampoline for indoor exercise. It was time to pry myself out of my comfy cocoon. The first day, my scheduled morning walk did happen - although not until 5 pm. Still, it happened, and I felt a whole lot better. The next day, I took my morning walk in the actual morning - nature, a bit of sunshine, throw in random interactions with dogs and neighbors, even with social distancing, and it all went a surprisingly long way to restoring my equilibrium.
Another way I got my mojo back was through online retail therapy. I didn't go crazy exactly, but... I have a favorite body wash which smells heavenly. I certainly didn't want to risk running out, did I? When it arrived and I put it away, look what I discovered!
Clearly, someone around here needs to get a bit more organized and then do a better job inventorying! The good news is that I won't be running out anytime soon. I also ordered hand sanitizer since there was none to be had in any stores. Since it has not yet arrived, in the meantime, I'll make my own. Here's the recipe.
So, this was the context for my big birthday. I was swinging like Tarzan between okay and not okay. My daughter, Yael, who had lived nearby, moved abroad last summer. It feels even farther away these days. My other kids have lived out of town for years. My son, Mick, is actually between apartments in NYC and had just moved out of one and put his stuff into storage, awaiting an April 3rd move in date. He is now nearby, staying with his girlfriend Emma's family. That's the good news. But because he came from NY, and I'm considered high risk, we can't get any closer than six feet - no hugging, no kissing, no shoulder bumps or snuggling on the sofa. He shouldn't even be in my apartment at all, which has been agonizing. Any mom knows how much that nonverbal physical stuff means. Before my birthday, we'd had just one walk together. Our original plan was to get together for dinner on my birthday but it didn't feel good for him to come and neither did the alternative. Sigh. So, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
On my birthday, we were scheduled to walk at 8:30. But he was delayed and didn't get here until after nine and had to be back for another call at 10:00, so the walk was abbreviated -- more reasons to feel bad, if I needed them.
Still, it felt undeniably good just to be together. At the end of our walk, Mick said, "I have something for you to see" and he handed me his phone. There was a video from Sharoni, my friend of almost fifty years, full of birthday greetings and juicy reminiscences. I was touched. "I have lots of these and I'll send them all to you." Cool beans, indeed!
I walked home with a spring in my step. I spent the day receiving phone calls of good wishes as well as watching loving videos from close friends and family. What fun! How affirming! What had I felt a few short hours ago? Alone. Disconnected. Abandoned. Overwhelmed. Now, I barely remembered that. What did I feel at this moment? Loved. Cherished. Connected. Celebrated. It was as if I had been wanded and magically transformed by a fairy godmother, in this case, my wonderful, creative and very lovable kids.
And Mick did come over for a visit after dinner. I sat inside my condo while he sat in a chair in the hallway outside yet we were still able to enjoy a good shmooze.
And so, unbelievably, I actually had the best birthday in recent memory, maybe ever.
Sign reads: 'thank you to everyone working. Our world moves because of you!' Amen to that!
(Image by Joan Brunwasser) Details DMCA
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