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It's a Bird, It's a Plane, No It's CYBERCZAR!

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Rafe Pilgrim
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Now, suppose you're having a little affair – that's no affair of the government's you say – Wrong!  Every word you say or type and transmit by electronic means, telephone, cell phone, internet goes into the pot for processing, is filtered, can be selected, recorded and acted upon.  Will this all be handled with precision?  Are you joshing!  We're talkin' a gazillion bongobytes per nanosec here – be reasonable -- of course there's going to be a little slip here or there, and you are free to attempt entertaining that kind of issue with your interrogator.  And, hey, rest assured, we've had two consecutive presidents tell us quite emphatically:  "We do not torture!"

Is there to be absolutely no private communication?  Well, smoke signals would be rather obvious and don't really transmit over much distance.  But then there is sign language.  But the CZAR knows that!  Hey, I know:  in a locked room, lights out, sign language under a blanket, with a flashlight!  But, whatever you do, you must never divulge this technique to the TERRORISTS !!!   And – ohmagod! – should the CZAR ever find out...! 

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Rafe Pilgrim, after "a life largely wasted on hard honest work," found himself a jungle of turkey oak, scrub pine and giant palmettos up a dirt road running east of Crystal River, Florida, which neither school busses nor the U.S. Postal Service dare (more...)
 
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