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General News    H4'ed 12/3/19  

Humor: Feeling Hopeless and Depressed? Stop Reading the Help Wanted Ads

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Martha Rosenberg
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"Need extra cash?" "Senior?" "Student?" Means you'll make $30 a day, if that.

"Varied duties" mean you'll be required to run errands, get everyone's lunch and likely sweep up at the end of the day.

Beware Virtual Jobs

It has been at least two decades since jobs permitted telecommuting and let you work at an offsite or remote location. But today "jobs" are so virtual they sometimes exist only on the smart phone of the person running the ad. Unfortunately the ad placer is often living in his mother's basements.

Years ago job applicants received a "thank you for your interest in Happy Corp" or some acknowledgment of their application. Today, employers no longer even feel compelled to tell you they "identified" a candidate who "more closely matches" their needs. You just get cyber silence.

Still, it is said that job seekers still get the occasional in-person interview, not just the proverbial phone interview. If you do manage to get one, here are some important pointers.

1. Show Up

Few candidates get hired if they don't show up.

2. Silence Your Smart Phone

Both you and the interviewer know it is a friend asking how the interview went. Both you and the interviewer know it's your first interview in two years.

3. Don't Ask If They Test For Drugs

Why not just say "I get high a lot"?

4. Memorize Your Application

People who ask "What did I write on there again?" do not look too serious minded.

5. Expect Career Goal Questions

If you've had 11 jobs in 12 years, they're not going to ask your favorite color. Be prepared.

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Martha Rosenberg is an award-winning investigative public health reporter who covers the food, drug and gun industries. Her first book, Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health, is distributed by (more...)
 

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