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Can We TALK? If the "Zombie Apocalypse" has arrived, "smart" phones are to blame

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By the end of 2013, according to the technology company Cisco Systems, there were more smart phones on the planet than human beings. During its amazing growth spurt, smart-phone use has evolved to become the ultimate pervasive intrusion upon everyday lives of otherwise ordinary, normal human beings, even the apparent few who do not own one.

According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, "the mere presence of a cell phone -- even when not being used -- influences people's performance on complex mental tasks."

Meanwhile, a University of Essex study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships concluded that the presence of a cell phone "interferes with our ability to form close interpersonal connections."

The smartest phone in the room

Of course, humanity faced a different set of problems that seemed more immediate than the concerns about the long-term effect of electro-magnetic radiation that emerged during the period before phones became digitally "smart." Those early devices were just minimally-functional analog antiques called "cellys." "Hit me up on my celly" was boastful hipster vernacular announcing one's membership in the vanguard of early cell-phone owners. But part of that boastfulness often included loud, often in-artful conversations by callers who seemed hell-bent on making sure that everyone within a two-block radius knew that there was a cell-phone owner in their midst.

Today however, carrying a smart phone for the purpose of actually talking on it probably carries the same level of low-cachet social irrelevancy as sending handwritten letters through the mail. No longer are phones used for the singular purpose of vocally communicating one's thoughts, wishes, dreams, and desires to a specific individual.

Instead, we'd rather use them to drone through cyber-space spilling out endless streams of unconsciousness -- issuing inanimate Facebook "likes," tweeting underdeveloped 140-character sentence fragments, dispatching emoji-encoded messages laid out like a kindergartner's rendering of floats seen at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade -- all while anguishing over decisions about whether to swipe left or right on Tinder.

It's been reported that certain long-established restaurant chains now struggle to lure in diners for a traditional sit-down meal -- particularly during weekday lunch. One reason is that it takes too long. But it's not due to customers who overstay their welcome because of lengthy, highly-animated conversations amongst themselves. It's more a consequence of diners spending inordinate amounts of time focusing not on their meals but on manipulating their devices: photographing their food, posting comments about them on Facebook, issuing tweets about the quality of the wait staff, etc.

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Anthony Barnes, of Boston, Massachusetts, is a left-handed leftist. "When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the (more...)
 

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