"No, no: wouldn't happen," said the colonel. "A Seal -- who is that? Dyed-in-the-wool military man, that's what. He would naturally go through channels to publish, for one because he'd need the Good Housekeeping seal from the Pentagon. You'd have to have that in spades. And believe you me, they'd fine-tooth-comb it. He'd have to say something about the months of surveillance. One word about the e-lint used, and they'd blow a book out of the water."
The Rainmaker nodded. "That's an excellent point, Colonel. So the book would be published as an unauthorized account. Pentagon up in arms, threats of lawsuits, threats of cancelled pensions, CIA wailing about how their tricks of the trade are being revealed. There's nothing like scandal to bring out credibility."
"Bul-l-l-lshit," moaned the colonel. "I said, "a dyed-in-the-wool career military man' -- a Seal! -- and he's going to go off the ranch and publish unauthorized? My mother's raised three military men, sir, and even she wouldn't believe that."
"Well, with all respect to your mother," said The Rainmaker, "in Dubuque nobody makes those fine distinctions. The moment people hear that the book is the unvarnished, unauthorized version, they won't even need to read the book. They'll hear it confirms the official version and does a little fan dance around the tricks of e-lint, revealing a little curve here and a dark crevice there, and that's that. Modern government, dear friends, is the laying of narratives. Properly prepared, the assassination of Osama bin Laden's house in his house in Abbottabad will soon form part of American history."
Silence again, complacent and drowsy now.
The Rainmaker stifled a laugh. Why don't you all yawn and scratch and take a nice splash in the manure pile?
"So are we ready to go?" said the White House guy, looking around the table.
"I guess," said the CIA guy grudgingly. "We'll get started on a bin Laden video." He looked at The Rainmaker and aimed the laser pointed over his head. "Right-handed."
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