JR: Sure. We are giving corporations the right to speak, to vote, to hold office because corporations are so much smarter than people. Corporations have all the experts, all the knowledge, all the facts. So, like Nino said in his concurring opinion, they are the ones that know all about the economy. As Engine Charlie Wilson said over 50 years ago, what GM thinks is good for GM is good for America.
But, especially because they are so much smarter than people, we have to be sure that corporations exercise their rights responsibly. We can't have them doing irresponsible things like committing murder, at least not in excess of one murder for each 100 million dollars of corporate capital, or saying that I grew up in a town that was highly anti-Semitic and thus, almost by definition, reactionary. I mean, what if I did? Harvard was filled with Jews. So was my law firm. So what the hell is the point of implying that I was surrounded by reactionaries when I was young and impressionable. I've shown that this has had no effect on my liberal attitudes, or, as the pantywaist liberals call it lest they be tarred with the dreaded l word, my "progressive" attitudes. So we can't have corporations acting irresponsibly by liableing me, excuse me, libeling me, by saying I grew up in a heavily anti-Semitic and therefore, almost by definition, reactionary area. Such irresponsible corporations are definitely liable for libel regardless of the truth. This is the type of irresponsible speech which we must stamp out so that corporations exercise their political rights responsibly.
YR: Well Justice Roberts, let me ask this. You say that a reason for giving corporations the rights to speak, to vote, to hold office, is that they, not human people, have all the experts, all the knowledge, all the facts. Well, if that is true, then not only should corporations have the rights, but also why shouldn't these rights be taken away from human people? After all, they don't have the experts, the knowledge, the facts?
Justice Roberts didn't answer. There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Finally Justice Scalia said, "You're damn right. These rights should be taken away from human persons because they are dummies, and we intend to eventually do just that."
YR: "Justice Scalito," I said to Justice Alito, you haven't said anything yet. Would you comment on this question of taking the rights away from human people?
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