Diary: Chronicles of the US Reich 2006. From the Fiery Dog

Reichfuhrer Capucheney recently fired and shot a lawyer while on the hunting trip.

'The Law is killed'- said Reichsfuhrer.

2. Who could anticipate?

Our Pretzel had an emergency session of the NSA recently. He said,

-With all that wiretapping who could anticipate that someone records on the video my preparedness to kill the people of New Orleans?

3. The Dubai deal.

The former President and outspoken liberal William Jefferson Warlington confessed that he consulted the Dubai corporation on how to take over the US ports.

'I never, never.. had sex with them' he said.

4.Name changing.

The State of South Dakota had petitioned the US Congress and Vatican to rename itself into the Pope's Region of the US. Their new motto will be Penetration without Hesitation.

5. The leg is broken

In the new movie 'Shake your leg' two close friends, a man and a dog find themselves in the wilderness and fall asleep. They awake having passionate sex. The movie then proceeds to solve the dilemma of the mutual chemistry. It is nominated for an Oscar.

6.This brave new world and its science.

So far we have heard about:
- gummy computers
-radiology treatment for the flu
-curved automatic weapons
-CAT scan picking up liars
-ethanol made from food
-plasma weapon against demonstrations
-using Dr. Dobson against skunks ( one stench kills another)
-Going to Mars ( and going and going and going) on foot
-Alternative fuel named Bushin( part- urine- part saliva and part- blood)
-A new study telling that as soon as you become a President of Harvard you lose your mind.

7. Viva Academia!

Our new crusader, Mr. David NonHorowitz had fell victim to his own trap. He was Preempted by Mr. Alan NonDerchowitz. Both are now in custody for allegedly trying to kill each other by mistake.

9. Foreign affairs.

Our Anacondi PRice visited Egypt recently. She was greeted by a special Cleopatra dinner after which she was asked to try her own poison. She politely declined and drank some blood instead.

Pretzel Rocks!