This is one of those articles where the ironies could be listed for about eight hundred pages. Ann Coulter, who says in almost every article how she believes in the absolutes of law and order and how criminals should receive maximum penalties with total disregard to circumstance, is accused of Felony Vote Fraud. According to this article in the Huffington Post, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/06/02/coulter-accused-of-voter-_n_22097.html:
“A poll worker reported to his supervisors that he saw Coulter try to vote in the precinct closest to her Palm Beach home. But when she was told the address on her voter's registration was elsewhere, Coulter ran out instead of correcting it and ended up voting in a precinct that wasn't hers. Knowingly voting in the wrong precinct in Florida is a felony.
Elections Supervisor Arthur Anderson gave Coulter until April 30 to explain what happened, but she has yet to answer his registered letters. Now with Jimenez, Kelly said, officials will wait "a few more weeks" before starting a procedure that could strip Coulter of her right to vote here and refer the case to State Attorney Barry Krischer for possible prosecution.”
Coulter is now in the unenviable position of being hoisted with her own petard. All conservative elected officials and conservative commentators seem to fall into that trap ‘big time’ at least once in their lives. Who can forget Morton Downey Jr.’s vicious television show where he denounced ‘Pabulum Puking Liberals’ for many supposed shortcomings including fighting for anti-smoking warnings and legislation? I guess because I am a ‘bleeding heart’ that I really felt sorry for Mort when later in life he was stricken with lung cancer and did an abrupt 180 degree turn in his political beliefs saying how mistaken he was to promote smoking rights among other positions. More recently we have Jeb Bush, George W. Bush and Rush Limbaugh who have all taken stridently anti-drug positions. Jeb and George enacted harsh drug penalties in Florida and Texas respectively, only to find out that Jeb’s daughter, George W. and Limbaugh have all abused drugs and broken drug laws. George W and Limbaugh avoided serving any jail time, while Jeb’s daughter had to do time in jail and rehab. I guess someone on the right had to pay the price they advocate. Of the three, why not punish the little girl the hardest? Of course, we also have Bill ‘Ho’ Reilly who after relentlessly pillorying Bill Clinton for his sexual transgressions with an underling it was discovered O’Reilly viciously harassed (one could say stalked) one of his staffers with lewd phone calls and unwelcome discussions about proper use of sexual props. That case was of course quickly settled out of court for an undisclosed (Read: BIG) sum. What else, Cheney’s daughter being gay when the Bush administration is so stridently anti-gay? Oh, how horrific of me to have brought that up, I’m so sorry Mary, will you forgive me? Or how about Segregationist Strom Thurmond fathering a daughter with an African American woman?
One could go on with more conservative elected officials and pundits, but let us return to Coulter. Again, there are enough ironic quotes and proclamations of hers to go on forever so I am going to have to confine myself to some of the most juicy and relevant. How about her August 17, 1999 proclamation on Hannity and Colmes where she said “I think there should be a literacy test and a poll tax for people to vote.” Is that so that they do not make mistakes like the one YOU made, Ann? I wonder how Coulter would score on a literacy test. Either she is taking the credit for someone else’s work, or she knows very well how to read and write. According to the Huffington Post article, Ann was informed by a poll worker of the correct place to vote, but she voted somewhere else anyway. Based on this, there can be no mistake, she intentionally committed a felony.
Since the above is the case, perhaps Ann and her High Powered (Read: High Priced) attorney will plead for leniency or Amnesty? Only, how will she reconcile that wish with some of the things she said in her most recent article, “Read my Lips, No New Amnesty” http://www.townhall.com/opinion/columns/anncoulter/2006/05/17/197806.html her latest diatribe against immigration reform because it would allow undocumented aliens to receive leniency. Yes, it’s all about the fact that they committed a crime in coming to this country, nothing about racism. Oops, but now you have committed a crime too Ann. How is she going to reconcile this with any possible logical defense?
If Ann takes the course most consistent with her proclaimed views, she will plead guilty and demand the maximum sentence. Felonies, particularly in Florida carry a number of penalties, first, you become disenfranchised, you lose your right to own a firearm, and you are sentenced to at least a year in prison. Prison could prove interesting for Ann. She has written a plethora of articles against and ‘slander’-ing gays and lesbians. I wonder what Ann will do when she encounters that 6’ 2” tall inmate named Bertha with the mullet and the tattoo on her shoulder that proclaims “I love girls”. Maybe Ann will again do the consistent thing and go on a rant against ‘sodomites’ and other ‘immoral people’. The prison infirmary better start stocking up on Ann’s blood type. Ann should also find out about the best plastic surgeons. When she gets out of prison, she will probably need to hire one to remove the tattoo “Bertha’s biotch” from her rear end. Then again, there is that persistent rumor in the liberal blogosphere about Ann being a man in drag on account of her prominent Adam’s apple and masculine writing style. Maybe the prison entry physical will produce a ‘shocking’ discovery. Can you imagine a tranny that looks like Ann being sent to men’s prison? Of course, according to Ann and her loyal readership, all of the above will be OK, because any attempt to improve the conditions in prisons is the stuff of bleeding heart liberals. People are being sent to prison to be punished, so prison rape and all other similar horrors are perpetrated on deserving victims.
Oh, gee, maybe I have gone too far again. Do you think Ann will find this article too spiteful? I have researched this article by reading a lot of her work. Maybe it is rubbing off on me. One can only hope this will be a learning experience for Ms. Coulter. She has made a mistake. People make mistakes. There is nothing American, Constitutional, or Christian about always wanting to inflict maximum punishments on people for making mistakes. Of course, the track record for conservative pundits and politicians learning from their experiences and moderating their views is not good. Of all of the above people I mentioned, only Morton Downey Jr., seemed to repent of their conservative views after their life altering experience and that is probably because his views caused him to confront a premature death. We will have to see what happens with Ann. Something tells me her next article will tell us a lot.
Steven Leser specializes in Politics, Science & Health, and Entertainment topics. He has held positions within the Democratic Party including District Chair and Public Relations Chair within county organizations.
Steven Leser writes for www.opednews.com, an internet only media site that has grown to become one of the highest traffic news sites in America, reaching more traffic, according to alexa.com, than all but the thirty largest daily newspapers in the US. Mr. Leser is one of the 500+ liberal pundits who, each month, are published in what has become one of the top five Liberal/progressive media sites in the US.
