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November 23, 2007 at 10:33:49
In McClellan's Own Words...* (Excerpt from Scott McClellan's Blockbuster expose', "What Happened") by steve young Page 1 of 2 page(s) |
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When we walked into the Rose Garden together, surrounded by roses and gardens, for the first time I knew that my dream had come true. I would be working for what was the most powerful man in the world, the one who makes the decisions that could send America into years of peace and prosperity or decades of death and destruction. But enough about Dick Cheney. I’m kidding, of course. President Bush was my boss and the Commander-in-Chief. No lie. I mean, not about that. First let me say that there were great arguments between myself and my publisher over the title of the book. We had played with others. "I’m The Luckiest Guy In The World, Except Maybe For Dane Cook," and "I’m No Ari Fleischer. Really I’m Not. He Was The Guy Before Me," but my editor felt that the shorter the title, the more room they’d have for the "30% OFF" sticker at Costco’s and Sam’s Club, which to me seem like the same place. I mean all you have to do is look at their food court signs. But they swear their different companies. I don’t buy it.
I always felt that just plain "Scott," with my picture on it would have been fine, but my editor said people might think I was just telling a story about Scott Glenn or that I was Scottish and that the extra "t" was a cover typo, which I’m told could be devastating to sales.
I had a problem with just "What Happened." I felt it left too many possibilities. It could be read as a question as in "What (The Hell) Happened?" like I was overwhelmingly intimidated and confused by the entire experience. Kind of like "shock and awe," but without the Fox News graphics. Or it might be construed as a preface to a longer title, as in "What Happened...To Integrity." Thank God for the Writers Strike. No telling what that scallywag Jon Stewart would do with it. At least when Leno makes it funny you know he doesn’t hate the country.
As White House Press Secretary, I spent nearly three years as a confidante to President George Walker Bush. Not close confidante where he would tell me his inner truths, but confidante in the way he would tell me a kind of truth that he wanted me to pass on to the American people. Like the "truthiness" Stephen Colbert, who spoke at the White House Press dinner, speaks of. By the way, President Bush thought Mr. Colbert’s speech was interesting and unique. See, that’s not exactly the inner-truth, which would be that he thought the speech "left a smell that a thousand matches couldn’t get rid of."
But it was the seven fateful words President Bush said when he introduced me as his new Press Secretary that I’ll never forget.
"I've known Scott for a long time."
There was one problem. It was not true.
He really only knew me for about three years before I got the promotion.
He followed that with, "I look forward to working closely with him to make sure that the American people, and, of course, the press corps, gets the information that's needed to reflect the philosophy and the decision making of this administration. He'll be able to do the job like Ari (Fleischer, my predecessor) did."
Being an avid Monty Python fan I knew the expression, "a wink is as good as a nod," it was at that moment I knew exactly what my job was to be. I also knew "Does she go? Nudge, Nudge," and "That parrot is dead," and in case the President chose to use them, we would be on the same page.
There were trying times standing at that podium to be sure, but the most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility
There was one problem. It was not true.
It's really difficult to restore credibility when most of what I had to say had none.
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| 4 comments |
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Hilarious,
if it wasn't so tragic, and true. Okay, it's hilarious anyway. Thank god we can find some humor in this mindless administration. Amidst all of the destruction and deception, if you can keep digging up the satire, I'll keep reading... by Jan Baumgartner (60 articles, 148 quicklinks, 12 diaries, 311 comments [12 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Friday, Nov 23, 2007 at 7:10:45 PM  (0+)
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Was this book/excerpt written by the Bush Twins? Or By a
Was this book, or the excerpt thereof written by one of the shallow Bush Twins, or by a Barbara-Bush-Wannabe? How extremely shallow! No wonder McClellan was lied to, and used by the Bushes to clean their toilet so he could stand on a podium and tell us about the smell of bleach. In fact, he was bleach himself...silencing all the stink of those bush lies contaminating the world ... Shallow. Shallow. Shallow. The book ought to be subtitled Damaging Shallowness: Not to Bush, but to the rest of the world. I can't believe there are people willing to spend $$$$ for such shallowness. Obviously there are, but you can bet the Bushes will either get a free copy, or wait till it hits anyone of their various librarires of lies and spin to read it for free. All the book needs now is the Tee-Hee Hee Hee laughter of the Bush Twins. That would make it all complete! by elena dumas (62 articles, 18 quicklinks, 1 diaries, 110 comments [23 recommended, 0 rejected]) on Saturday, Nov 24, 2007 at 3:45:25 AM (0+)
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Please tell me this is a parody ...
If this isn't a parody it's doing nothing in restoring my faith in the plight of mankind. How can it be possible that we have people that are so clueless, vapid, and lame in such positions of power? McCellan comes off like a character off of Sesame Street, except they have more gravitas. Truly there must be a large segment of our populace that has had a vast portion of their brains made dormant through mass hypnosis, systematic destruction of our educational system, prescription drugs and the MSM. I guess to can fool some of the people all of the time. Unfortunately for the rest of us these fools often vote in numbers large enough to keep putting those that would manipulate them and the rest of us in polices that are destructive for the whole. by Mr M (8 articles, 0 quicklinks, 66 diaries, 2845 comments [654 recommended, 27 rejected]) on Saturday, Nov 24, 2007 at 10:00:01 AM (0+)
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Scottie
If there are actually people out there who believed anything Scott said about anything, you can call me amazed. Why would anyone think he did tell the truth? He was speaking for George, who doesn't even have a passing acquaintance with the truth. I have always been amused by the president referring to someone that he appointed to any position as being honest, having integrity, having a high level of knowledge, etc. How would he know? How would we expect him to recognize such qualities. We know he has selected those who are of 'like mind'...actually, I believe they all may be sharing a brain...and it is often hard to tell who it is that has it, if anyone. I won't buy the book and I am hoping that only one copy is actually sold, and that would be to the individual who would take it upon him/her self to charge everyone in the administration with whatever criminal charges they can. I wonder if Scott feels that he has any blood on his hands? by Crystal Purcell (0 articles, 0 quicklinks, 0 diaries, 47 comments) on Saturday, Nov 24, 2007 at 7:34:42 PM (0+)
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