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"FEMA has issued an apology, saying that they had an error in judgment when they were attempting to get out a lot of information to reporters, who were asking for answers to a variety of questions in regard to the wildfires in California," Perino said. "It's not something I would have condoned. And they _ I'm sure _ will not do it again." -White House press secretary Dana Perino But alas, the fake PR cat was already out of the bag. Studio Public Relations Gal: First of all, let me apologize for the last minute notice, but since the mail room screw-up kept the actual preview from getting out in time for your Friday film review deadlines, we knew you’d want to get an update on this latest Dane Cook blockbuster ASAP, so... As you all know, Mr. Cook’s stellar film career has run the gamut and "Adorable Klutsy Guy Falls In Love With Gorgeous Sexy Chick, Hilarity Ensues" will be no different. Questions? Yes, Boss. I mean, you. "Reporter": Will there be any clever humor? SPRG: If our audience wanted it, sure. Yes Dane... Reporter II: Will I get to have naked sex with my co-star? SPRG: You’ll have to watch the film to find out, but here’s one spoiler you should put your hands over your ears if you don’t want to hear... When your character does have sex, and I’m not saying he will, but, if he does, your hair will be mussed in that charming way it always is. Oh, and just as things heat up, you’ll toss in a gross-out double entendre, step on your date’s hair, and of course, hilarity will ensue. Reporter II: F’in cool. 14 Year Old Girl: Like, I’m sorry my divorced Dad couldn’t get away from his new girlfriend and my manic-depressive mom couldn’t get out of bed fast enough to be here at the Food Court in time, but like even if I didn’t get in their grill early enough, like, they still should have known. Gosh. First question... "Parent": How hot do you feel hanging out four hours a night in front of Hot Topics? I mean, does it affect your school work and junk? 14YOG: Duh. I’m doing as well as I need to do. I mean, like what do I need math and science for. And I already know enough English to talk good. "Parent": Kewl. "Parent II": Wanna hook up? 14YOG: Shu-up. Okay, but only if my mom and dad say it’s okay. Mom and Dad...? "Mom and Dad": That’d be tight. www.greatfailure.com A talk show host, author, columnist,award-winning television writer and filmmaker, his inspiring book, "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (Tallfellow Press) has been published internationally and has become required reading in the Wharton School of Business Masters Program. His "All The News That's Fit To Spoof " column appears every Sunday on the L.A. Daily News Oped Page.
Steve has appeared all over national TV and radio with his unique brand of satirical punditry and social observations appearing in national periodicals from the Los Angeles Times and The New York Times, to his own weekly Internet column "The Lords Of Loud," at AlbionMonitor.net and The Huffington Post.
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