1. Stimulus
Merriam- Webster's Thesaurus now has two definitions for the word 'Stimulus':
- a stick to prod the bulls harnessed in a carriage, so that they go faster.
-a carrot to show the stupid Americans, so that they run after it forever.
2. The name problem
On the CAPC convention it was suggested by Jonathan Krohn to change the GOP name into GCP (Great Conservative Party). The reason was that in Russianlanguage GOPa meant ' human ass'. Unfortunately it turned out that GCP meant 'German Communist Party.' Looks like Republicans are stuck between ass, Germany and Communism.
3. The wedding of the Century
Comedian Rush Limbaugh and Ann Colteur got married in a ceremony performed by Rev. Robertson. At the end of the ceremony the earth collapsed under them andd they fell into a fiery pit with the last words, 'We hope he fails!'
4. Jewish democracy
Avigdor Lieberman, a former bouncer is going to become a leading figure in the government of Israel. This proves that Israel had reached the highest level of democracy, when anything can become anyone ( or nothing can become everything). Incidentally those are also the words from the Communist Anthem 'Whoever was nothing will become everything'.
5.The light of justice
When Carl Rove and Harriett Miers testify iin Congress all the windows will be shut because those two can burn in the sunlight.
6.Savings
AIG had decided from now on to entertain their CEOs in Russia. The place is called Rublevka for the new AIG currency- rouble.
7.Foreign policy
Russian President announced that the new ICBMs located in Venezuela will not target the US but instead will target Chechnya.
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