Instead
of sending 30,000 troops, send 30,000 mimes.
FedEx them Arabic dessert pastries laced with stool softener and LSD.
Make the
Taliban fighters into easy targets by airlifting 50,000 of the most colorful
Snuggies into the region.
Air drop Taliban teenagers cell phones without texting capabilities.
Convince
Anti-Taliban militiamen to eat nothing but black beans and broccoli for a
month. Then have them face west.
Convince
the Pakistani army to eat nothing but black beans and broccoli for a month.
Then have them face east.
Send over
5000 DVDs of Cats.
Drop
leaflets about the dangers of STDs, then airlift 20,000 condoms covered on both
sides with Krazy Clue.
If this
doesn't work, send 10,000 toilet seats covered with Krazy Glue.
If that
doesn't work, send Al Qaeda 2000 free sets of monkey bars covered with Krazy
Glue.
Set up a signal that will deliver HDTV to the Taliban, and then shut it off.
Drop
leaflets over Al Qaeda caves showing that the Koran does not specify the gender
or species of the 72 virgins. Include photo-shopped pictures of male goats
wearing lingerie.
Send the
Shamwow guy to Afghanistan.
Blast
John Tesh's latest album through huge speakers near the Pakistani border.
Parachute in 1500 computers with dial-up capability only.
FedEx them fruitcake.
