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John Blumenthal has been a professional comedy writer for 25 years. A former associate editor and columnist at Playboy Magazine (following a short stint at Esquire), he's written 8 books and 2 produced movies. His films include "Short Time," (major flop), and "Blue Streak" (huge hit, no idea why.) His last two novels, both published by St. Martin's Press, were "What's Wrong With Dorfman?" and "Millard Fillmore, Mon Amour," (only available online now). They were both huge bestsellers among the members of his immediate family.
Thursday, December 29, 2011 I'm Mitt Romney's Hair Stylist (2 comments)
Political advice for Mitt Romney from the guy who does his hair.
Monday, May 23, 2011 Breaking News: GOP Will Run Nobody for President in 2012 (1 comments)
Deciding that none of the declared candidates can beat Obama, the RNC decides that a blank space on the ballot will have a chance of winning.
Saturday, February 6, 2010 Guess What? We Already Have Death Panels (2 comments)
Even if there were government death panels -- and there won't be -- how does that differ from death panels already in affect at insurance companies?
Friday, February 5, 2010 How My First Movie Got Made (1 comments)
It took luck, good timing and some shameless groveling on my part, but somehow the film was produced. (And flopped.)
Monday, February 1, 2010 How To Pass Healthcare Reform by Tomorrow
A few stringent and unpleasant measures we could take to persuade Congress to pass Healthcare Reform without further delay.
Saturday, January 30, 2010 Why I Hate Camping: A Glossary
Camping is a form of masochism in which people leave the comfort of their homes to live like Neanderthal Man.
Friday, January 29, 2010 My Exclusive Interview With J.D. Salinger (1 comments)
I'm the only person who has interviewed the elusive JD Salinger. Years ago, I also interviewed Howard Hughes.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 Do You Know Who's in Your Wallet?
On your currency, Jefferson gets a raw deal by being on a $2 bill, while Alexander Hamilton's face undeservedly graces $10 dollar bills. And why is Salmon P.Chase's kisser on a $10,000 bill?
Monday, January 25, 2010 Will Prince Charles Ever Be King? (3 comments)
Now that Princess Di is gone, most Brits aren't all that fond of Prince Charles. Can he over come his subjects' disdain and his mother's longevity, and become king of England?
Saturday, January 23, 2010 Can We Please Stop Saying "Enjoy Your Day"? (3 comments)
Does anybody really care if you enjoy your day? And how much enjoyment are we supposed to have? Can't we just say "Good-bye" anymore?
Thursday, January 14, 2010 New Show: CSI: Congress (1 comments)
Health Care Reform is a badly injured man and members of Congress are the detectives. Most of them -- like Detective Joe Lieberman --want to kill the poor guy, but Detective Nancy Pelosi tried to stop them
Tuesday, January 12, 2010 What Happened to Speling, Grammer and Geografie? (6 comments)
School systems today are deficient in teaching kids the basics. Geography, grammar and spelling have been left behind. Sure match and science are important, but do we want a generation of kids that thinks Nebraska is in Europe?
Saturday, January 9, 2010 How Groucho Marx Got Me an Editorial Job at Playboy (1 comments)
Groucho Marx unwittingly gave my career a boost, helping to land me jobs as an editor at Esquire, then as an editor of Playboy. Here are some of my adventures at both magazines.
Thursday, January 7, 2010 How To Make the Taliban Surrender (4 comments)
A few simple and inexpensive ways to beat the Taliban without shedding any blood.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010 How I Almost Started World War III (True Story)
Put together 3 guys with too much German beer, some tank flares and the East German border, and you could have big trouble
Monday, January 4, 2010 What the Hell Does "Sanctity of Marriage" Mean? (3 comments)
How can straight couples who violate their marriage vows call gay marriage an issue that destroys the sanctity of marriage?
Wednesday, December 30, 2009 A Colonoscopy at Every Airport? (2 comments)
Has airline safety gotten so ridiculous that passengers' orifices will now be searched?
Monday, December 28, 2009 Is Customer Service a Corporate Conspiracy? (4 comments)
May I please speak to a HUMAN?!!! How we all suffer from the customer service runaround and why.
Saturday, December 26, 2009 Why "Julie & Julia" Stinks (3 comments)
Why do people like this film? It has no story and the characters are grating.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 Psychiatrists Identify New Phobias (1 comments)
With the increased anxieties of modern life, strange new phobias have begun to appear. Scientists are doing their best to keep up with this new trend.
Monday, December 21, 2009 I'm Starting a Left Wing Militia. Wanna Join? (3 comments)
Lefties unite! Surely a Left Wing militia can outsmart the wingnuts. After all, we're better at Photoshop.
Friday, December 18, 2009 Why Scrooge Was Right About Christmas (2 comments)
Given the state of the world in 1843, Scrooge had the right attitude about charity and good cheer.
Thursday, December 17, 2009 Why I Hate My Health Club (3 comments)
One reason: To make the weights work, you're supposed to lift them.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 Should the Senate be Abolished?
Why should one Senator be able to hold up legislation that could impact the whole nation?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009 Where is Mitt Romney Hiding?
Is Mitt Romney the Republican's only choice for 2012? Is he hiding to keep his distance from the wingnuts?
