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Calling All Czars

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Message Sandy Sand
Stephen J. Hadley, George Bush's national security adviser, says he doesn't have star power, of, let's say, a Simon Cowell,  to go places and influence people, so he has launched his own search for an "idol" to be the Iraq War Czar with 'starrrr power.' You'll have to put in your own echo chamber sound effects here.

Although it's been reported that six top generals have been wise enough to say "nyet" to the call to czardom, the renewed search does include a few generals. Hadley, described as reserved and cautious, likes to avoid using the job description of "czar," preferring to call the position an "implementation and execution manager." A lot wordy and sounding like a job for a guillotinist, but if that's how Hadley wants to refer to it...

Hadley claims that people in Washington are calling for a war czar, and according to the New York Times the job would be, "The kind of task - a little bit of internal diplomacy and a lot of head-knocking, fortified by direct access to the president - that would ordinarily fall to Mr. Hadley himself. After all, he oversaw the review that produced Mr. Bush's troop buildup in Iraq. But his responsibilities encompass issues around the globe, and he has concluded that he needs someone "up close to the president" to work "full time, 24/7" to put the policy into effect," which he hopes to find the right twinkling sucker (oops! candidate) in order to fill the position as soon as possible.

Whoever the lucky celestial-powered person is that gets the job would report to the president every morning and then urge the cabinet to carry out the White House's orders.

There's a lot of hmmms here.

Hmmmm...Who are the people in Washington who are calling for an Iraq War Czar...besides George and Stephen?

Hmmmm...Supposin' Bush says a particular item is a go, and the czar is supposed to use his glittery influence on cabinet members, what are they going to do? Appear on every talk show spouting the administration's latest hair-brained Iraq idea with ad-repetitive-nauseum talking points that nobody's buying?

Hmmmm...Why the obsession with czars? Czars, in the annals of history, don't exactly have good reps. For a country that railed against royalty, we're certainly fascinated with it, and dub everyone we can't come up with an imaginative title for with an imperial sobriquet.

Hmmmm...Don't we already have a Czar-in-Chief, alias Commander-in-Chief, who is supposed to be in charge of the military, and claims that Congress doesn't have the know-how to direct military action, but he does?

After all, we know that when Bush was in the Texas Air National Guard he learned how to fly a plane, look natty in a flight suit, open a beer keg, how not to make friends and influence people since few can remember him from his good ole flyboy days. He also became adept at dodging physicals and succeeded where all else have failed: Invisible man status for the last 18 months of his so-called service. Amazingly, so did all trace of any records that could prove where he was and what he was up to for that period of time.

Hmmmm...With those magnificent attributes and vast military experience, one might ask why a czar is called for?

Hmmmm...Since Iraq War czardom has been Hadley's realm up till now, how come all of a sudden he's too busy? What does he know that we only suspect? That the czarship sounds highfalutin; sounds as if it carries a lot of power with it, but in reality is just another shell job.

Hmmmm...Wield influence over the prez and the cabinet? Right now it looks as if Bush is pretty much left with support from Laura, Barney and a few others. Certainly, he's not listening to 70 or so percent of the American people who believe that "surging" is not the right course, and Bush himself is the one who is not supporting the troops by vetoing funding bills that give him more money than he's asked for.

Hmmmm...If Hadley said that the czar has to be someone of stature who is in the government and can make things happen, how is that person going to accomplish anything if George, Laura and Barney put their stamps of disapproval on it?

I wouldn't want the job, not even if it paid enough so I wouldn't have to think even a half-a-time to get the Viking refrigerator I want along with a kitchen big enough to put it in.. I don't want to talk to Bush even once, let alone every morning. Knowing Bush's track record, the promise of a job with power and influence seems as empty as the empty-headed suits that fill the White House.

Whoever is anointed "czar," I wish him or her good luck; that person will need it.
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Sandy Sand began her writing career while raising three children and doing public relations work for Women's American ORT (Organization for Rehabilitation through Training). That led to a job as a reporter for the San Fernando Valley Chronicle, a (more...)
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