Off my mattress
And stumble
To the bathroom
Hoping for success
I stand
At the toilet
And wait
Afterward
I turn to the medicine cabinet
And grab for some painkillers
To help remove the knife
From the middle of my back
Then, I make my way
Through my freezing apartment
(Stopping only to turn on
the money grubbing heater)
And enter my kitchen
Is to get the coffee on
As quickly as possible
While the coffee brews
I push on to my computer
Push the start button
And wait
Once again
Hoping for success
Online
I peruse the news
And my email
10 Americans killed in Iraq
1000th execution in the US
3,000,000 dead from Aids last year
Tibetan monks arrested
For refusing to denounce
The Dalai Lama
Australian hanged in Singapore
For trafficking in heroin
Belgian woman suicide bomber
killed in attack
On American troops in Iraq
And George Bush's new Plan for Victory
My tongue feels
For the abscess
In my mouth
I think of the work hours I lost
And the reprimand I received
Because I misread the letter
Sent to me by my boss
Fear of Alzheimer's
Creeps in
And depression
licks It's hungry lips
At the edges of my mind
Desperately searching
For a pacifying idea
To help pull itself up
My mind conjures Job
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