Cross Posted at Legal Schnauzer
Barack Obama almost certainly is the most athletic president in the history of the United States. Anyone who has seen video of Obama playing basketball knows the man is a legit athlete.
The 48-year-old Obama is lean, graceful, coordinated--and married to the hottest First Lady ever. So why does the White House keep letting him look like a klutz when he goes into unfamiliar sports surroundings?
This is typical of Democrats. They've got an attractive, robust, sports-minded president--and they don't know how to showcase him. If someone would drag Rahm Emanuel away from kissing Lindsey Graham's butt, maybe the White House staff could figure out a way to help the president. In fact, we've got a plan for accomplishing just that.
But first, let's check out the latest example of Obama flopping on a sporting stage. It came Monday when the president threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the season opener for the Washington Nationals baseball team. With apologies to our female readers, Obama threw the pitch like a girl. And I'm not talking about girls who play high-school and college softball and look like Nolan Ryan when they fire the ball around. I'm talking about, say, a 6-year-old girl who never has tried throwing a spherical object before.
Not only did Obama exhibit poor form, but he got a poor result. The pitch was soft and loopy, and it sailed so far outside that the Nationals' Ryan Zimmerman almost had to lunge to keep it from going to the backstop. Let's check out the presidential pitch:
(Note: OEN readers can view the video at this link.)
Now that is not acceptable. Democrats constantly are being portrayed by the other side as soft and squishy. So why do we let our studly, athletic president look like he can't play hardball?
It conjured up images of Obama's pathetic effort at bowling during the presidential campaign. He bowled a 37, and that's even worse than the "gentleman's 40" J.D. scored on a hilarious episode of Scrubs. Who can forget the images of Obama rolling one gutter ball after another? Remember?
(Note: OEN readers can view the video at this link.)
That was so bad it could have cost Obama the White House. And it's a shame because the guy is an athlete. Check out Obama draining a three-point shot on a basketball court in Kuwait:
(Note: OEN readers can view the video at this link.)
Now I've spent a fair amount of time bowling, throwing baseballs, and shooting basketballs. The most challenging of the three, by far, is basketball. I've spent major chunks of my 30-year journalism career covering sports, and it's my considered opinion that the most demanding game of them all is basketball.
So a guy who can play hoops the way Obama can should easily be able to be decent at bowling and baseball. After much study, our crack Legal Schnauzer team has figured out the presidential problem. And we are offering our services to help fix it.
For years, we've been inundated with images of GOP presidents like Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush exhibiting their "manhood" by chopping wood or clearing brush. Obama is more virile than those doofuses could have ever dreamed--did I mention that he's married to the hottest First Lady ever?--and it's time he looked the part.
At the risk of diving into the minefield of racial stereotypes, here's the deal with Obama: He's our first black president, and he excels at basketball, the quintessential "city" game. His problem comes when he tries his hand at what we will delicately call "honky sports."
Who is into bowling? White guys with beer guts in Milwaukee. Who is into baseball? White guys with beer guts in St. Louis.
This is typical of Democrats. They've got an attractive, robust, sports-minded president--and they don't know how to showcase him. If someone would drag Rahm Emanuel away from kissing Lindsey Graham's butt, maybe the White House staff could figure out a way to help the president. In fact, we've got a plan for accomplishing just that.
But first, let's check out the latest example of Obama flopping on a sporting stage. It came Monday when the president threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the season opener for the Washington Nationals baseball team. With apologies to our female readers, Obama threw the pitch like a girl. And I'm not talking about girls who play high-school and college softball and look like Nolan Ryan when they fire the ball around. I'm talking about, say, a 6-year-old girl who never has tried throwing a spherical object before.
Not only did Obama exhibit poor form, but he got a poor result. The pitch was soft and loopy, and it sailed so far outside that the Nationals' Ryan Zimmerman almost had to lunge to keep it from going to the backstop. Let's check out the presidential pitch:
(Note: OEN readers can view the video at this link.)
Now that is not acceptable. Democrats constantly are being portrayed by the other side as soft and squishy. So why do we let our studly, athletic president look like he can't play hardball?
It conjured up images of Obama's pathetic effort at bowling during the presidential campaign. He bowled a 37, and that's even worse than the "gentleman's 40" J.D. scored on a hilarious episode of Scrubs. Who can forget the images of Obama rolling one gutter ball after another? Remember?
(Note: OEN readers can view the video at this link.)
That was so bad it could have cost Obama the White House. And it's a shame because the guy is an athlete. Check out Obama draining a three-point shot on a basketball court in Kuwait:
(Note: OEN readers can view the video at this link.)
Now I've spent a fair amount of time bowling, throwing baseballs, and shooting basketballs. The most challenging of the three, by far, is basketball. I've spent major chunks of my 30-year journalism career covering sports, and it's my considered opinion that the most demanding game of them all is basketball.
So a guy who can play hoops the way Obama can should easily be able to be decent at bowling and baseball. After much study, our crack Legal Schnauzer team has figured out the presidential problem. And we are offering our services to help fix it.
For years, we've been inundated with images of GOP presidents like Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush exhibiting their "manhood" by chopping wood or clearing brush. Obama is more virile than those doofuses could have ever dreamed--did I mention that he's married to the hottest First Lady ever?--and it's time he looked the part.
At the risk of diving into the minefield of racial stereotypes, here's the deal with Obama: He's our first black president, and he excels at basketball, the quintessential "city" game. His problem comes when he tries his hand at what we will delicately call "honky sports."
Who is into bowling? White guys with beer guts in Milwaukee. Who is into baseball? White guys with beer guts in St. Louis.
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