Dear Mister President: A White House Wall for No-Way Nancy

(What is Trump's shutdown endgame?)

I asked Sarah Sanders what they were doing. She said, “Since No-Way Nancy won’t fund a border wall, we’re building a White House wall. Russia will pay for it. Same plan – 30 feet high, shiny steel, topped with razor wire, with firing loops every 25 feet. But solid. No transparency. Just like Obama’s or the Pope’s. But you must be talking about something else – maybe illegal teen aged alien terrorists planning a breach – because our measurements are already completed.”

I stopped by the desk of the new Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney, to ask whether he still thought walls were “simplistic, absurd, and childish”. He scowled. “My perspective has changed since I’ve gotten to know the President. These are relative terms, and relative to the President, hiding behind a wall is complex, logical, and mature. Even terrible human beings are entitled to privacy.”