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Bush and Rumsfeld in ‘Baghdad Mountain’

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The man in the Stetson hat growled as he brushed away a fast moving tear that was tickling his freshly exfoliated face. “You told me everything was going to be OK, that these Iraqis were complete pushovers. They were going to welcome us as liberators and have a parade for our troops and play Weathergirls music.”

“Stop being so dramatic, Georgie” came the annoyed but playful response, accompanied by a backhanded wave of the hand, we got Hussein, didn’t we? That guy who tried to off your dad, and I don’t mean that in a good way.” Bush simmered, “Hello? Earth to Rummy, have you seen the news in like, the last two years? Our beautiful and saucy boys are over there getting killed on a regular basis and the country is a mess. People are calling on me to fire you, honey and I don’t know how much longer I can protect you. Things just haven’t been the same since the fall of Baghdad.”

“I don’t understand, you’re not saying…”

“Look Rummy, you know I love you. You know I would do anything for you.” Bush started crying again, “Don’t you know you have to do something to make things better over there? Were losing the midterm elections and Karl says that to make things at least appear as if we are doing something that you have to go. I just… I just don’t know how to quit you, Rummy! You have to do something!”

“George, why don’t we take some time off and go up to Camp David. We haven’t been up there together in so long and the alone time will do us some good…”

“Donnie, you know why it has been a while. After our last trip, Laura went up to clean the place and found our two leather outfits, and I don’t think she completely bought that part about intelligence suggesting that Osama and Omar are hiding out in gay bars in Kandahar and we were just trying to think like them to gain an edge.”

“OK then what do we do then”

“I don’t know Rummy, I just don’t know…”

 

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A political blogger for the International Business Times, Steve Leser is a hot national political pundit. He has appeared on MSNBC's Coundown with Keith Olbermann, Comedy Central's Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Russia Today's (RT) Crosstalk with (more...)
 
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