To: Bill O 'Reilly email@example.com
From: Rick Mathis firstname.lastname@example.org
re: appearances by Media Matters, Greg Palast and Helen Thomas
Teddy Roosevelt called the White House a bully pulpit because it allowed the president the chance to persuasively push an agenda. But, Bill, what if a bully got behind the pulpit? You know, instead of a bully pulpit, what if it became a billy pit bull slinging bullshit as if it was the real thing? What if a bully got hold of the microphone and monopolized the rich man 's camera and was presented to the nation as if he was a real culture warrior?
Maybe that 's why you won 't let those liberal bullies like Media Matters, Greg Palast and Helen Thomas anywhere near your pulpit. Good God can only imagine what would happen if they got across their radical agenda that everyone has the right to free speech and a right to factual information even if it was against the interests of the ruling media! Heaven forbid the return of the fairness doctrine and every side gets aired on issues of public importance!
That 's not you, Billy boy. No, sir, you would never pick on someone who didn 't have a chance to respond. You would never try to bullshit yourself out of the situation by acting as if you had done nothing wrong. Besides, Bill, Media Matters needed to be called vile names because they reported unpleasant things about you.
You called Media Matters "character assassins. " Maybe they are verbally abusive. Let 's take a look at Dr. Irene 's list of signs of verbal abuse. Bill, do your critics like Media Matters, Greg Palast and Helen Thomas:
ignore your feelings?
ridicule or insult you then tell you it 's a joke, or that you have no sense of humor?
ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class?
withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
walk away without answering you?
criticize you, call you names, yell at you?
humiliate you . . . in public?
roll his or her eyes when you talk?
tell you that you are too sensitive?
seem energized by fighting . . . ?
have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason?
"twist" your words, somehow turning what you said against you?
complain about how badly you treat him or her?
threaten to . . .throw you out?
seem to stir up trouble . . . ?
manipulate you with lies and contradictions?
act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors?
question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence?
interrupt you; hear but not really listen?
make you feel like you can't win? damned if you do, damned if you don't?
incite you to rage, which is "proof" that you are to blame?
try to convince you he or she is "right," while you are "wrong?"
frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding?
Yep, brother Bill, it sure would be terrible if such a verbally and emotionally abusive bully ever got a national pulpit from which to spew his venom. So, come on, good buddy, lead by example once again and show how to stand up politely yet firmly to those liberal bully hotheads like Helen Thomas. Invite her, Media Matters, Greg Palast and a host of your critics on The O 'Reilly Factor so you can make sure a big mouth, chickenshit bully is exposed.
Tags: Bill O 'Reilly, Helen Thomas, Greg Palast, Media Matters, O 'Reilly Factor, Fox News, Verbal abuse, Bully, Bullying, Mainstream Media, Media bias, Satire