Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 14 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

Obama's Crotch Itch Problem

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   8 comments
Message Joel Hirschhorn
Become a Fan
  (20 fans)

I finally figured out why Obama so often looks uncomfortable, impatient and annoyed.  He never seems to be a regular guy.  One who can enjoy his public opportunities at local eateries and indulge himself like a real American enthralled with delicious unhealthy foods.  To joyously let loose and just be a happy black guy able to live in a millionaire’s McMansion and have a shot at being president after hardly learning how to be a senator.  Why?


Deep down Obama wants to scream, because he is suffering from a severe case of crotch or jock itch or, more correctly in his case, b*tch itch.  As a presidential candidate in the public limelight 24/7 he restrains his natural desire to vigorously scratch his inflamed, drive-you-crazy itch, which is named Hillary.  His wife understands that it has not resulted from any intimate physical contact with Hillary and surely feels his pain.  Though Mrs. Obama must continually remind Barry that he cannot afford to let his incessant itch overcome his well-honed professional capability to hide the truth and keep smiling.  Obama compulsively strives to be the super-successful black man he and his wife have been waiting for.


So Obama courageously keeps talking, selling change but unable to change his own misery.  Silently and grinningly, he bears the pain and discomfort that is always wriggling in his consciousness like some alien indestructible life form.  Often he must pause between words as he tells himself to resist the temptation to openly and brazenly acknowledge his pain – to just scream at the top of his lungs.  And now you can better understand his various loony statements.  He stays just one tempting moment away from dropping his messiah façade, falling off his pedestal and loudly screeching “Hillary is driving me freaken crazy and I’m not going to take it anymore!”


Now you know the rest of the story.  Every time you see the big Obama grin remember what is driving him nuts – the Hillary itch that grows more irritating day by day, that just won’t go away and might eventually cause his mental heat to melt his politician cool.  To throw away his self-righteous script and scream obscenities as he confronts his pain.


Just imagine how stressful it is for Obama to stay so supremely confident, defiantly resisting that most human urge to scratch his Hillary b*tch itch.  His obsessive ambition to be the first black American president seems strong enough to resist rational human response.  But is that the kind of person we want as president?  Someone with such yes-we-can self-control, unable to boldly fight his pain because doing so might jeopardize his ego-soaked quest for the ultimate power?  I see a character defect.


Considering that Obama has made his candidacy more about himself than ideology or policy positions, it is fair to be concerned that he is too cerebral.  I want a president that knows how to scratch his itch.  If he cannot act on his pain, how can he act on my pain and the pain of many millions of other Americans?  Indeed, maybe if he related more to the pain felt by Clinton supporters he could be the uniter we’ve been waiting for.  But if he cannot unite Clinton and Obama supporters, and whites and blacks, how could he possibly unite Republicans and Democrats in government to change the same old politics?  If anything, he has demonstrated that he is just another polarizer.

Rate It | View Ratings

Joel Hirschhorn Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

Joel S. Hirschhorn is the author of Pandemic Blunder: Fauci and Public Health Blocked Early Home COVID Treatment, Delusional Democracy - Fixing the Republic Without Overthrowing the Government and several other books, as well as hundreds of (more...)

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
   (Opens new browser window)

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Americans Unready to Revolt, Despite Revolting Conditions

9/11 Truth Manifesto

Entering a Hospital and On Medicare? The One Question You Must Always Ask

Tea Party Terrorists

The Most Powerful People in America

Fight Economic Oppression, Target the Top One Percent

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend