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Joke: Sleeping in Church

By joke from email  Posted by Rob Kall (about the submitter)       (Page 1 of 1 pages)     Permalink

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A man approached the minister at his church...
"Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?"

"I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the
minister.
"Take this hat pin with you I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and will
motion to you. When I motion, you give her good poke in the leg with the hat
pin.

He agreed to the plan. In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off.
Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate
sacrifice for you?" he said nodding to Mr. Jones.

"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the
sharp hat pin. "Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick
reply. Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband. Soon, Mrs.
Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed.

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"Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward
Mr. Jones. "My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the
pin.

"Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face. Mrs. Jones
again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long, though,
she again nodded off. This time however, the minister did not notice. As he
picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr.
Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his
99th son? " Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, "You stick that thing in me
one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it where the sun don't
shine!"

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"Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.

 

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Rob Kall is an award winning journalist, inventor, software architect, connector and visionary. His work and his writing have been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, ABC, the HuffingtonPost, Success, Discover and other media. He's given talks and workshops to Fortune 500 execs and national medical and psychological organizations, and pioneered first-of-their-kind conferences in Positive Psychology, Brain Science and Story. He hosts some of the world's smartest, most interesting and powerful people on his Bottom Up Radio Show, and founded and publishes one of the top Google- ranked progressive news and opinion sites, OpEdNews.com

more detailed bio: 

Rob Kall has spent his adult life as an awakener and empowerer-- first in the field of biofeedback, inventing products, developing software and a music recording label, MuPsych, within the company he founded in 1978-- Futurehealth, and founding, organizing and running 3 conferences: Winter Brain, on Neurofeedback and consciousness, Optimal Functioning and Positive Psychology (a pioneer in the field of Positive Psychology, first presenting workshops on it in 1985) and Storycon Summit Meeting on the Art Science and Application of Story-- each the first of their kind.  Then, when he found the process of raising people's consciousness and empowering them to take more control of their lives  one person at a time was too slow, he founded Opednews.com-- which has been the top search result on Google for the terms liberal news and progressive opinion for several years. Rob began his Bottom-up Radio show, broadcast on WNJC 1360 AM to Metro Philly, also available on iTunes, covering the transition of our culture, business and world from predominantly Top-down (hierarchical, centralized, authoritarian, patriarchal, big)  to bottom-up (egalitarian, local, interdependent, grassroots, archetypal feminine and small.) Recent long-term projects include a book, Bottom-up-- The Connection Revolution, debillionairizing the planet and the Psychopathy Defense and Optimization Project. 

(more...)
 

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