Power of Story
Send a Tweet        
- Advertisement -
Life Arts

Tough Assignment

By       Message Bob Patterson     Permalink
      (Page 1 of 2 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It


Author 20497
Become a Fan
  (10 fans)
- Advertisement -

[Note:  portions of this column have been fictionalize so that the Personnel Department would have an excuse to lay off the fact checker.]

The Chief (for you non-journalists, that's what we pros call the editor) invited me for a bit of balcony time and, before sitting down, I took a look at the magnificent view from this high up and thought about the figure of speech about "walking the plank."

"What's up?," I asked.

"Your columns haven't been very funny lately," he snarled (all editors snarl even when they are having a tender moment with their wife).

- Advertisement -

I hesitated.

"Come on, hurry up, give me an explanation fast.  I have stuff to do," he snapped.

"The country is in a war which is an eight year old search for WMD's that do not now exist - nor have they  ever existed, for that matter, the country is full of empty houses while the streets are full of homeless people asking for spare change, GM is also panhandling in a corporate sort of way, the stock market is singing the old Chubby Checker song that asks:  'How low can you go?,' a girl at the Berkeley Bowl asked for a donation to the San Francisco Homeless Services Coalition, but I had to promise a plug in my next column rather than a donation, and I'm supposed to make things seem funny?"

- Advertisement -

"That's your assignment.  You seem to understand what you gotta do, so what's the problem?  You're whining and sound like that old routine done by Eddie Lawrence"

"Well, I, um, . . ."

"Come on spit it out, whazamatta you?" he grumbles

"Well, I don't think there's much I can say in a column to give folks a good chuckle when the Prez is going to take troops out of a stalemate and move them to a fight in a country that has never been conquered."  I responded.

"So what's the problem?" he snorts.

"Well, only Rush and a few dittoheads will think what's happening to the country is funny," I say.

- Advertisement -

"So write about something else, dummy." he huffs.

With that he dismisses me with the advice:  "I expect a wonderfully funny column to be posted by the morning of Friday, March 6, 2009.  You choose: either you do that or I'll have Ilse (she-wolf of the accounting department) prepare a buy-out package for you?"

So I warmed up the computer and started writing.

Next Page  1  |  2


- Advertisement -

View Ratings | Rate It


BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting
/* The Petition Site */
The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Huffington Post to bloggers: Drop Dead!

"Texas" Revisited: Michener's Warning

Freedom of the Press was fun while it lasted

Questions about Gen. Patton's Death

Did Rove engineer Cain's Florida win?

A relentless photo quest