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I wanted to say something that was generally true
About the way heterosexual white men use humor
But after several false starts
I have concluded that all can do
Is speak for myself.
I learned at an early age
That humor was far more than
Knowing how to tell a joke.
I could use it to deflect attention
Off my own shortcomings
Or direct the attention of others toward someone else.
I admired boys who had mastered
How to make a girl laugh.
Following their example I quickly learned
How to use humor to flirt.
It worked even better
Than being good at something or good-looking.
As I matured into my teens
I was able to hone my humor and
Bring different kinds of humor on line
To help me navigate different situations.
I used it to make friends,
And to differentiate myself from characters
With whom I chose not to associate.
I used it to break down social barriers
And as a kind of coded language
To consolidate alliances
Within the group of characters
With whom I was building alliances.
As I matured beyond my teens
I started refining my own kind of humor.
So it became a kind of signature.
I was becoming adroit at sarcasm.
I hung out with a few guys over the years
Who shared my penchant for sarcasm
And pointing out the absurd.
We were hyper-critical of
The country's politics (social, economic and war-making)
And sarcasm became almost a way of life.
It was my pass into an underground brotherhood
That was quintessentially anti-status quo.
Once it sank in that nothing was going to change
Fast enough to satisfy my yearning
For a cultural revolution
I found a home in cynicism.
I hung out with cynics.
As a social critic and an outsider in our land
I was struggling to find my place, my niche, my purpose.
I started becoming bitter in my young middle-age.
All during my thirties and forties
I was a soul-searching malcontent
In the working world
As well as in the world of relationship.
My humor was edgy, dark, absurdist.
I enjoyed how the average person
Didn't understand, much less share my humor.
Sort of the antithesis of how
When someone at a bar or party
Tells a racist or sexist joke
They might enjoy how a non-racist or politically correct liberal
Might squirm or raise an eyebrow or leave the room.
Humor is a good way
To force your audience to show their true colors.
In that respect it is very powerful.
Humor consolidates alliances
And it draws lines in the sand.
Now that I am 73
I am no longer cynical.
I do still enjoy sarcasm
And absurdist humor which I define as
Humor that pokes fun
At the weirdness of human behavior.
I think the way we do things is really absurd
And with just a little exaggeration and tweaking
Almost everything we do in America
Is straight out ridiculous and funny.
I am equally shocked and amused
By what I witness on a daily basis.
I enjoy my sense of humor, mostly when I am alone
Because I am not using it for anything,
Neither weapon nor shield nor membership card.
I just need to laugh a lot.
It's almost as if
My sense of humor
Has finally enabled me
To find a friend in myself.
(Article changed on Jul 22, 2024 at 7:54 AM EDT)
