Just one of the most embarrassing moments in politics
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Another political bit of comic-fodder bites the dust.
After Michele Bachmann announced that she would not be running for re-election, stand-ups throughout the country were devastated. Now Rick Perry has done the same and will ruin routines in 18 months. What is this world coming to?
Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) announced Monday that he will not seek reelection in 2014.
"The time has come to pass on the mantle of leadership," he said at a rally in San Antonio. "Today, I'm announcing I will not seek reelection as governor of Texas."
Perry has served as governor since 2000, when then-Gov. George W. Bush (R) became president. Perry was elected to full terms in 2002, 2006 and 2010.
Perry also alluded to a potential 2016 presidential run, saying he will "pray and reflect and work to determine my own future path."
Also weeping and rending their garments will be capital punishment fanatics, Secessionists, Christofascists, the NRA and Glenn Beck (without the need for Vicks Vapo-Rub!)
Yes, the Governor of Texas who had one too many "oops" moments* during his 2012 run for the Republican Presidential nomination is hanging up his Stetson, but not his six-shooters. God will undoubtedly tell him to keep up the good fight against gays, evil-doers and Wendy Davis. After all, Texas has a reputation to uphold.
And when Rick Perry goes, just how many right-wingers will go with him? Not many, say politicos, since they intend to stay and carry on Perry's good fight. The idea of secession - however ridiculous - still fogs their minds: Glenn Beck has already planned a totally sustainable (read "walled") community he calls "Independence" and his influence on Texas media and business is nonetheless substantial. Beck has already begun to hail a replacement. Perry's successor will be depended upon to perform more executions, call for more prayer rallies, close more abortion clinics, and pander more to the NRA.
"I go into the office in the morning, I sue Barack Obama, and then I go home."
Greg Abbott, currently serving as Texas' Attorney General, seems likely to get the post as governor and he's got several powerful things going for him: he's aggressively anti-Obama, anti-gay, very Christian Right and a paraplegic. He sat on the Texas Supreme Court. He argued successfully before the Supreme Court concerning the placement of the Ten Commandments on capitol grounds. He raised more campaign money than any other AG in Texas history. The Family Research Council cheered his statement that providing benefits to domestic partners unions of municipal employees was unconstitutional. His draconian voter I.D. law was just O.K.'d by the Supreme Court.
For Texas and lovers of all things right wing, he's a shoe-in.
Democrats have been trying to make Texas blue for a very long time, but so far
all they have to run against Abbott is Wendy Davis and San Antonio mayor Julian
Castro. Wendy Davis received national attention during her filibuster of
abortion restrictions, so the Christian Right absolutely detests her. And with
a name like Castro, do you think even a San Antonio mayor has a chance?
The Next 18 Months ...
should be quite a show: with Democrats trying to pump up a worthy opponent to Abbott and Rick Perry trying for more record executions. Will he also pack in some prayer rallies? Cindy Jacobs will be pleased. More secessionist talk? Glenn Beck will be elated.
And stand-ups will get a reprieve.
*Wearing a Brokeback Mountain jacket during an anti-gay campaign ad, trying to explain the existence of his shooting camp's name of "n*ggerhead" and getting Texas Republican applause for presiding over the greatest number of executions - to name a few.