Kazakhstan is the most beautiful place I've never been
I've been reading abouts its apples and its bears
who over the bitter experience of time
shat out the sour seeds of the trees of Eden
(apparently just a short hot air balloon ride from Astana)
shat them out in the forests all the way to Europe
Malus subversii growing sweeter by the natural selection of taste
until the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge was fully disseminated
and look at us now, fully subversive, full of malice
.
But if knowledge was all we got from Kazakhstan
our story would be short indeed, and short-lived,
for there are some dumb shits there in K that Borat played
for all the laughs they are worth, and then some,
and when Borat brings his little sister to America
against his will or knowledge, and in a crate with an animal,
she eats on the way over Johnny the Monkey meant as a gift
and becomes the changeling gift meant for Pence herself; she's feral as.
We soon discover she's as hairy as ZZ Top down there,
and she knows how to show it, and we are appalled
at her debutante's ball to see such against our will
and later when Giuliani touches her, and she he, during an interview
it becomes a scene fraught with horror: "China did it," he tells her,
presumably to get into her K panties and ride and
they go into the hotel bedroom to find his really lost keys down his pants
and Borat comes rushing in, himself hairy, and scary, in a frilly bra and panties
and Giuliani's all da nada cool, and Borat chides that the teen's too old for him
and RICO Rudy's look is: WTF WTC7 all over again, purportedly saying, "Pull it."
But if that was all we had to go by, Kazakhstan would not be a World Heritage site today.
It's flush, and the arms merchants hold secret conferences there,
not too far from the Gates of Eden and the Tree of Knowledge Reserve.
Tourism has picked up, they say, and hot air balloon rides are all the rage
Someone said they spotted Rudy in a balloon basket lifting out of Astana
in search of his Tutar, the Neanderthal girl turned Vogue model that had captured his smit
Word was on the streets of Astana that she reaped for her reek:
"I can't seem to forget you, your wind song stays on my mind."Ã ?
but it's a strange country for Rudy, he sees from his basket a bear driving a car
learns from the pilot (secretly Tutar with cameras and underwear) that the bears who once shat in the woods have been made citizens
onnacounta the tourism to Eden through the trees to the apples, and they drink-drive a lot
and crush their cars into apple trees to watch them burn. They don't care. The bears love it.
.
But when Khazakhs saw the movie about their gift to America
with all the rednecks and strip malls and illiterates and mongoes
how easily they took to singing evil songs along with Borat like
"Throw the Jew Down the Well," and how small-minded they seemed then,
and how Rudy was willing to blame the Chinese for Covid-19 just to f*ck a 'jailbaiter'
and they group-thought that they'd have succeeded on Jan 6 where the hayseeds who showed up didn't, they would have smashed those electoral votes to smivereens, and said f*ck Democracy
Oh, it was a sad and lamentation-filled moment to realize that
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,
and the 'corpse evangelists' going to heaven with the angels late-discovered that the Bible is a cookbook.
God Almaty, what dumb shits!
