She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S
REVENGE
'Cash, check
or charge?' I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet,I
noticed a remote control for
a television set in her purse.
'So, do you
always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she
replied, 'but my husband refused to come
shopping with me,
and I figured
this was the most evil thing I could do to
him legally.'
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not
going to understand women.
I'll never
understand how you can take boiling hot
wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair
out by the root,
and still be
afraid of a spider.
CIGARETTESAND
TAMPONS
A manwalks
into a pharmacyand
wanders up & down the
aisles..
The sales
girl notices himand
asks him if she can help
him..
He answers
that he is looking fora
box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him downthe
correct aisle.
A few
minutes later,he
depositsa
huge bag of cottonballs
and a ball of string on
the counter.
She says,
confused,'Sir,
I thought you were
looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers,'You
see,it's
like this,yesterday,
I sent my wife to
the store
to get me a cartonof
cigarettes, andshe
came backwith
a tin of tobacco
and somerollingpapers;
causeit's
sooo-ooo--oo-ooomuch
cheaper.
So, I figureif I
have to roll my own. so
does she..
(I figure
this guy is theone
on themilk
carton!)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove
down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and
neither of them wanted to concede their
position..
As they passed
a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband
asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the
wife replied, 'in-laws.'
WORDS
A husband read
an article to his wife about how many words
women use a day.
30,000 to a
man's 15,000.
The wife
replied, 'The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to
men...
The husband then turned to his wife and
asked, 'What?'
CREATION
A man said to
his wife one day, 'I don't knowhow
you can be
so stupid and
sobeautiful
all atthe
same time.
'The wiferesponded,
'Allow me to
explain.
God made me beautifulso
you would beattracted
to me;
God made mestupid
so I would beattracted
to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument
about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife
said, 'You should do it because you get up
first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to
get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of
cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job,
and I can just wait for my
coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and
besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband
replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she
fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the
top of several pages, that it indeed says
.'HEBREWS'
The Silent Treatment
A man
and his wife were having some problems at
home
and
were giving each other the silent
treatment.
Suddenly,
the man realized that the next day, he
would need his wife to wake himat
5:00 AM for an early morning
business flight.
Not
wanting to be the first to break the
silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00
AM.'He
left it where he knew she
would find it.
The
next morning, the man woke up, only to
discover it was 9:00 AMand
he had missed his flight
Furious, he was about to go and see why
his wife hadn't wakened him,when
he noticed a piece of paper
bythe
bed.
The
paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of
contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always arough draft before the masterpiece
SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!.
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