Oh, come on man, you gotta be putting on. It strains the bounds of credulity, but this is what we've learned so far. The President takes off on these flights of fantasy and then the narrative sets up like concrete and then there you are, outrageous, sophomoric, idiotic and obviously insane. Is it live or is it Memorex? Cue the James Bond theme music, "OO7, this is a very important secret mission don't co*k it up."
"You're to go to Washington and play the role of an injury victim. You are to pretend to be a seventy-six-year-old an anti-nuclear protester. A religious type appearing to be apparently harmless."
Am I going undercover to expose an international plot? Is Specter attempting to take over the world again sir?
"No, OO7 your job is to make the President of the United States look bad. Heartless and uncaring."
Do we really need a secret agent for that sir? Couldn't we send one of the junior agents?
"This is a vital mission OO7. M is going to implant a special blood cartridge in your ear. You are to stand harmlessly on the street and when the police arrive""
I spray them with nerve gas from the ballpoint pen in my pocket.
I beat them up with my incredible martial arts skills.
"No! you're to fall down and hit your head on the concrete and look pathetic."
Are there any beautiful women on this mission sir?
"None that haven't already been touched by ten-foot poles. M has been working on a full body condom, but I would advise against it."
But why Q? This is insane?