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Conservatively Ignorant!

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Message Bryian Revoner
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I debated on whether or not I should even tell this story, but I decided to go through with it in hopes that I might be able to shed some light on exactly how conservative groups and false prophets are able to stay in business, so pay close attention to the logic in this scenario! And remember, this is a true story that came about based on some people I occasionally bump into around my area. President Obama is arguably the most hated president since Abraham Lincoln, and he is probably the most hated man since Martin Luther King Jr. during the civil rights movement!

Keeping that in mind, I'm at a local store somewhere in East Arkansas, which is my home territory. I was having a political discussion with a guy I knew named Dave and one of his buddies. It was August of 2008, and the presidential election campaigns were in full bloom. Dave and I were simply discussing the possibilities of Barack Obama being elected as president. Neither one of us thought he realistically had much of a chance, but we were entertaining the thought anyway. Dave's buddy begins to get angry at the mere possibility of Obama being elected and unleashes a train of thought that proved once and for all just how short his rails of logic truly were.

Dave's buddy then makes this statement, "I hate that Obama! How did he get into this country anyway? He's not even a real American! My pastor said he was a Haitian! They need to send his Black, Haitian ass back to Africa where he came from!" I then looked at this geographical genius and tried to explain to him that Barack Obama was from Hawaii and not Haiti or Africa! Dave's buddy replied back to me, "Good, then let them send his Black ass back over there, so he can screw up his own damn country!" I then tried to explain to this guy that Hawaii was a state in the United States! He then asked me, "Where the heck is Hawaii anyway? Is that in Florida? Anyway, Obama ain"t my president! He"s a Muslim and an atheist, and he"ll never convert me over to one!" At that point, I gave up my intellectual enlightenment quest, because I think I only confused the poor dude even further, but I did ask him one more question. I asked him why he hated Obama so badly. The angry, dolt looked at me and said, "He's a foreigner, and I never vote for foreign presidents. They just let anybody come over and run the country into the ground nowadays! I wish all of these damn foreigners would just stay out of this country and stop running for president! I just don"t understand why idiots over here like so much foreign leadership. Can"t they find an American president to vote for?"

Needless to say, I was at a loss for words. I had never had logic baffle me before, but this version of logic made my central nervous system go numb, so I had to write about it and share it with the world, because I have officially now heard it all, but Dave's buddy is not alone! There are many more where he came from, which means the Tea Party groups aren't going anywhere anytime soon! This is the face of conservatism here in Blanche Lincoln"s old district. Compared to these bozoes, She is the safe pick! I shudder to think who the conservatives around here would like to have as their representative, because this guy I just told you all about makes Sarah "The Palinator" Palin look normal!

P.S. I've been writing a lot of material, so I have decided to cut some of it away from my memoir! I hope somebody laughed at this to keep from crying!

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Bryian "The Revoner" R. is an ex-gangsta rapper from the group Epitaph, who performed under the name "The Chauceriin." During his time in Wynne, Arkansas, where he grew up, Bryian was often criticized for being too White in school, because of his (more...)
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