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Can a Snake Sell Apples to a Naked Lady?

By       Message Bob Patterson       (Page 1 of 2 pages)     Permalink    (# of views)   1 comment

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[Note:  This column, by a maverick columnist seeking change, is submitted as a work of fiction and an attempt at humor and consequently was exempt  from the fact checking process]


If you live in or near Paradise, sooner or later some diabolical snake in the grass is going to come along and offer a temptation that one of the residents will find irresistible and then things will go all to Hell.


Republicans will be offering the voters the Zen experience of “the more things change, the more they remain the same” type abracadabra illusion this Fall, by offering a candidate who has voted with Bush 90% (or more) but who will be marketed as the candidate of “change.”  Are the Republicans trying to promulgate the ancient wisdom:  “You can never put your hand in the same river, twice.”?


Independents think that (spare) change is what the hippies used to request from strangers and that having Russell Brand ask Americans to vote for the Democrats went over with the Christian right like a pregnant pole-vaulter.

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Democrats think that the Republicans will reduce the election down to this:  John McCain is a white guy who was a maverick Navy fighter pilot before he became a Prisoner of War for five and a half years; Barack Obama is not.


If the thought of “The Sarah Palin Presidential Library” (in Wasilla Alaska?) makes you a bit queasy, then, brother, have a drink, because the day when they will dedicate that place is drawing closer by the minute.


What really upsets the Democrats is the fact, according to their way of thinking, that the candidacy implies that all women candidates are interchangeable.  Getting upset by that means they miss the point entirely:  it means the neocon steering committee knows that they can take anybody and use them as a frontperson to implement their plans and policies.  Hellfire, gentle reader, they could even make you seem like an excellent choice . . . and if all else fails, they got those infernal electronic voting machines as backup . . . so get used to the idea that McCain will get elected, then mysteriously croak, but don’t worry it will happen just as the changeover to digital TV is fowling up communications majorly and most folks won’t give a hoot as long as the difficulties are eliminated before the March Madness basketball betting begins.

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What’s that you say?  America won’t stand for it?  Hell, they’re letting journalism do the Cheshire cat routine, and once the fifth estate is gone, democracy will be a thing of the past. 


Is it just a big co-inky-dink that on Tuesday, September 9, 2008, in the L. A. area, the BBC half-hour news program went missing on a day when the Internets was featuring reports that the British Prime Minister was endorsing Senator Obama?


On the next day (Wednesday Sept 10), the BBC was back on the air and starting their reporting “on the road” bus tour of the USA to find out what the voters are thinking.  Their first stop was Venice Beach.  Didn’t we just mention:  “Spare change?”  Do the regulars on Venice Beach know that the Sixties are over?  Do they know which war they want stopped?


Is the religious right comfortable with the simultaneous existence of the large number of homeless people and empty foreclosed homes?  Didn’t Osama bin Laden say that one of his goals was to see the American economy destroyed?  


Some of the Left Wing Lunatics think that the diabolical Bush Junta could seduce citizens into favoring: committing war crimes in the name of self defense, torturing prisoners, bombing the hell out of city just to wipe out a sniper, and trampling freedom of the press to achieve better freedom of speech.  If that was true, then, they would have you believe, they would also use the voting machines to subvert democracy and establish a political entity that would last for a thousand years.  Do they think Americas are stupid enough to believe those lies?


If they can’t get you to believe those things are happening, then they will settle for having long, expensive fishing trip investigations to see if such figments of their imagination might have happened and that reminds us of this:  Did you know that on the list of tourist attractions in Southern California, Venice Beach comes in second after Disneyland?

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Do you hear any of that disloyal talk at the country club? Or, is the only place such treacherous ideas take root in disreputable places that also just happen to be incubators for workers unrest (boys and girls, didn’t the Communist organizers work hardest in workers communities?). 


Gee, do you think that it's a coincidence that some of the top issues in the Thirties when the Commies established a major presence in the American political scene, are now the very same ideas that the Democrats are trying to use to distract the voters while the terrorists are preparing to up the ante and increase their efforts to enact their own style of regime change? 


Speaking of exclusive golf links and fancy lunches and such, are the meals provided at various Senior Centers supposed to make them the equivalent of a country club for old Democrats?

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BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)

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