Dr.Csikszentmihalyi's work reveals that we are happy when we test or attempt to go beyond our current capabilities. You can add enjoyment to life by setting up games or challenges for yourself in whatever you do. When you have a boring or unpleasant task, you can add an inner challenge to the way you do it. Make up a game or add an un-required but interesting extra element to the task.
Dr. Csikszentmihalyi's research suggests we spend much of our time just moving from one moment to the next, satisfying biological drives and social requirements. To enjoy life more, we need to continually create challenges for ourselves, as artists do when they confront a blank canvas. You can create your own flow states by working at creating and seeking challenges, thus building your skills, whether they are skills for climbing mountains, baking cakes, dealing effectively with difficult people,decorating, negotiating, growing, organizing, learning new concepts or strengthening muscles. In the same way, you will increase your self esteem, positive attitude and happiness by meeting challenges with enthusiasm and appreciating these opportunities to stretch and grow.
Develop the habit of living in the moment
The idea of staying with the moment, enjoying the road rather than waiting to reach the destination-- as one of the necessaries of happiness and positive experience repeats itself throughout written history. Emerson says, To fill the hour--that is happiness: to fill the hour and leave no crevice for a repentance or an approval. We live amid surfaces, and the true art of life is to skate well on them. ...To finish the moment, to find the journey's end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours is wisdom."
Dr. Csikszentmihalyi's research suggests that staying in the moment is a primary element of flow. The flow state rewards behaviors that maintain and stabilize one's body and one's idea of self. He says, "Flow is a sense that humans have developed in order to recognize patterns of action that are worth preserving and transmitting over time." He goes even further and suggests that the evolution of consciousness and ultimately of humanity hinges on our ability to invest our psychic energy in goals that transcend our basic genetic and cultural programming-- that we need to engage in activities that are motivated not by pleasure, power or participation, but by the desire to experience the moment for itself, without any concern about the rewards or advantages it may bring. Out of these concentrated moments of flow induced pleasure, diamonds of innovation often emerge which move humanity forward. For example, Isaac Newton described how much fun he had working out his theory of gravitational attraction, "I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."
How do you stay in the moment? Keep all your senses wide open, receptive to notice; seeking out art, novelty, beauty, good abilities, gifts, acts, and ideas of others-- all the good and beautiful going on around you. Maintain a healthy sense of humor and relate to each day with playful respect, ready to embrace the challenges it brings to you. Challenges take all different forms. An exciting challenge for one person may be un-noticed by a thousand others. Timing, your attitude toward taking challenges (self esteem), and other simultaneous demands on your energy all play a role in the decision to enter flow. And flow is dynamic. As you master one moment's challenge, the challenge must increase, becoming more complex, demanding more complex skills.
Dr. Csikszentmihalyi's findings support the beliefs and advice of many sages throughout time: the Roman general Sallust observed that, "It is the duty of all ...who would maintain their rank in the scale of the creation, to strenuously endeavor that their lives be not passed in a state of obscurity. Without activity and usefulness, they will little surpass the herds of the field, which are doomed by nature to grovel on the earth, the slaves of sordid and unruly appetites."
Thomas Carlyle said that "Men do less than they ought, unless they do all that they can." Psychologist Abraham Maslow explained that we feel so good when we meet or create challenges because "The appetite for growth is whetted rather than allayed by gratification. Growth is, in itself, a rewarding and exciting process, e.g., the fulfilling of yearnings and ambitions. ...Heaven, so to speak, lies waiting for us through life, ready to step into for a time of striving. And once we have been in it, we can remember it forever and feed ourselves on this memory and be sustained in time of stress."
If you're not used to taking on challenges or stretching your skills, it may seem overwhelming. But you don't have to conquer the world as you take your first new steps towards stretching and growing. Longfellow advises us to, "Give what you have. To some one, it may be better than you dare to think." Give yourself credit for small steps. Others may see them as awesome.
Your powers may astonish you. Know what they are and how to use them.
The philosopher Schopenhauer said, "There is really no enjoyment other than in being aware of our powers and using them." How can you know your powers if you don't test them and use them regularly? William James said, "Compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. ..the human individual thus lives far within his limits... possesses power of various sorts which he habitually fails to use." You need to find challenges to test your powers, so you know what they are. And Rabbi Harold Kushner says that "it's important to feel that your abilities are being challenged, that you have to measure yourself." You can't just coast and expect happiness to come to you. Happiness requires work.
You can't be happy without courage--without the audacity to expect, to want and go for the positives that make your life glow. Winston Churchill said, "Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities ... it is the quality which guarantees all others." People are afraid to expose themselves to risk, no matter how minor, how slim, though the PE payoff is virtually certain. I see it all the time in my seminars. I announce that an exercise is going to feel good, then I ask for volunteers. Only a few hands go up. Then I demonstrate that the exercise feels good. I ask the participants. "Did it feel good?" It always does. But still there are always many people who won't take the opportunities just waiting for them. They are afraid. You need to have the courage to say to yourself, "I'm breaking out of the routine. I'm challenging myself, taking a risk and experimenting with a positive experience. People's biggest fear is that they'll make a fool of themselves. Self criticism and its avoidance causes this problem. But if you can keep your sense of humor and laugh at yourself, it won't matter what others think.
The point is, take risks! It doesn't matter what you try so long as you are exercising and building your courage muscles. You'll begin noticing new challenges that used to seem totally impossible and you'll enjoy discovering new "mountains" that become easier and easier to climb. As your courage, confidence and competence grow, you'll need to seek greater challenges to satisfy your need to stretch your skills. Your attitude will unfold from cautious and fearful to eager and anticipating as your courage becomes stronger and more deeply woven into your most inner self. When it seems hard to draw upon your courage, remember that George Patton said "Courage is fear holding on a minute longer."
You can start by working on these strategies right now.
1] Build your courage by mastering your fears:
Desensitize yourself to fears of taking risks by using techniques described in chapter 12. Minimize your negative response to failures. Imagine encountering and handling difficulties and turning them into PE opportunities. Learn to accept failure as an occasional, necessary step on the path to success. If you don't fail sometimes, you are not taking enough risks.
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