38 Ye have heard that it hath been said an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,
39 but I say unto you that it be both eyes for one eye and 32 teeth for a tooth. And whosoever smite thee on thy right cheek, shoot him dead and declare self-defense under Stand Your Ground.
40 And if any man will sue thee in defiance of Stand Your Ground, counter sue him for everything he owns.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to walk even one city block, have your chauffer drive your limo over him thrice.
42 Give to him that asketh thee and require from him that would borrow of thee sufficient usury as to make it impossible for him to repay in less than 30 years, if ever.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy,
44 but I say onto you, plunder and destroy thine enemies, sue them that curse you, hate and slander them that hate you and defraud into poverty them which attempt to use you and bribe them that seek to prosecute you--
45 that you may be richer than your father who may or may not be in Heaven, for you inherited much to be made into much more and pissed respectfully on his grave for his having held up your inheritance by living too damn long.
46 For if you love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the "publicans love money before anything or anyone else?