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3 Steps that Transform Sibling Conflict into Sibling Camaraderie

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Elaine Shpungin
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Me: "Ok great. Thank you guys."

The 3 kids then proceed to play successfully together for about an hour. Aaron later reported that it worked out "ok" and that Rachel only asked one small question.

EXAMPLE TWO: LEGOS (Rachel: 3 1/2; Isaiah: 3 1/2)

We are at Isaiah's house and he has never participated in this process or observed it before.

Rachel: "Give me some! I want some!"

Isaiah: "No! Stop that!"

Isaiah's mom: "Hey guys. There is no need to fight. There are plenty of legos."

She gets up and gets a different container of legos and gives the new container to Rachel.

Rachel: "No! I want THOSE legos!"

Isaiah's mom: "Isaiah, can you share some of your legos with Rachel? Or take some of the ones from this box?"

Isaiah: "No! I want these. I was using them!"

Rachel is starting to screw up her face for some crying.

Me, coming over tentatively: "Do you mind if I try something different?"

Isaiah's mom: "No, go ahead."

Me: "Guys, guys. Hold on a second. I want to try something to help...

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Elaine Shpungin, Ph.D. is a student and practitioner of Non Violent Communication (NVC) and Restorative Circles (RC).

She is currently exploring restorative and non-violent approaches to conflict and ways to meaningfully share power in (more...)
 
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