(3) Date rape. But in cases of date rape, the rapists usually know the women they rape, at leas to some extent. Those rapists are not going to take "No" for an answer. As a result, they overpower their victims and rape them.
In these three kinds of men's violence against women, we see men using physical strength and violence to overpower women. At some level, the powerful image of the feminine in the psyches of those men is threatening them. They are countering the powerful threat they feel from the image of the feminine in their psyches by acting out violently against women. In short, they are using power against women because they feel threatened by the powerful image of the feminine in their psyches.
Let's review. Because human males are born of women, the mother looms large in the human psyche. As a result, boys and men need to work out age-appropriate ways to establish a specifically masculine sense of identity to countervail against the powerful image of the feminine in their psyches.
However, the powerful image of the feminine in their psyches can be complicated by their own personal experiences of their mothers and by patriarchal cultural arrangements and attitudes. For example, some mothers abuse their power over their children. Such abuse can complicate the psychological lives of their children.
But Ong's claim about the need of human males to establish a sense of specifically masculine identity suggests that the only way that we as a culture can hope to combat men's violence against women is to help men work out and establish a strong sense of masculine identity.
Our human identities usually involve our identifications. For example, most boys and men identify with their fathers and other father figures in their lives. In addition, most boys and men identify with certain age-appropriate masculine role models.
Now, it is not uncommon for boys and men to experience disillusionment at times with some of the boys and men with whom they had identified, including their fathers. It is not pleasant to experience this kind of disillusionment. It is an experience that we need to mourn.
Nevertheless, after we have become disillusioned with certain identifications we have made, we need to avoid throwing out the bath water with the baby. Instead of throwing out the bath water with the baby, we should try to give credit where credit is due to our fathers and other male role models with whom we have identified.
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