Therefore, I must forgive myself. I must forgive myself for being human, for being fallible, for making mistakes, for being too hard on myself, for not being good enough or kind enough to myself. In forgiving myself, I am more readily able to forgive others. I am also more easily able to view others as human, as fallible, just like I am. For me, it is also a much healthier perspective. If I forgive myself, I feel better and happier, not only about myself, but everything.
When I forgive myself, my outlook is improved, things are not as worrisome or stressful as they were, and I take it easier on myself, allowing myself to enjoy life, my family, and others more. I don't need to make things so hard for myself, nor to be as hard on myself. So, I must and do forgive myself for all of these things. I am better able to be forgiving, loving, nurturing, kind, and compassionate to others in doing so.
Lastly, and something also not often commented on or recognized is that in forgiving each other and ourselves, that does not continue to open the door to being vulnerable to being hurt by others or ourselves. We must express our views, standards, and expectations to others, and insist that those are met, so that we are not vulnerable to being wronged by them again.
If we are wronged by those whom we forgive, then we are called to forgive them, though I believe we must continue to insist upon the manner in which we desire to be treated by them. If they do not improve in their words or actions, then we must forgive them, but we must also help ourselves, perhaps by seeking to further understand them and/or distancing ourselves from them.
And, we must open our eyes and recognize ways in which we are not helpful to and loving of ourselves. We must forgive ourselves for those actions, but also work on improving our actions toward ourselves. We must create a mindset that is loving, helpful, and healthy to and for ourselves. Therefore, forgiving ourselves, and working to improve the manner in which we view and treat ourselves are also important aspects of forgiveness that are valuable and significant.
One issue with which I have been working on forgiving myself is my divorce and the choice that I made in a spouse. I, ultimately, desired to reconcile and remain in my marriage, though it was extremely difficult and challenging; it was my former spouse who ended our marriage. I remained faithful to my spouse and dedicated to my family in the midst of challenges which were unbearable at the time.
It was during those times - as well as times past and present - that I leaned on God, Jesus, and my faith for survival - for the survival of my soul and spirit. It is in my faith that I continually take comfort, though I also recognize that I work, daily, to forgive myself for my decisions that have harmed myself and my family. I recognize that one cannot force a person to believe and behave in the manner in which the other desires, though I also believe, however, in the importance and healthfulness of forgiving myself and my former spouse, not only for the good of myself, but also for that of my son and family.
Forgiveness, therefore, is and should be a huge part of our lives. How often do you forgive others and yourself? What are the ways in which you forgive? Do you willingly accept forgiveness when it is offered to you? Do you seek to keep a healthy perspective in mind, body, and spirit by recognizing and forgiving yourself and others?
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