O'Reillylum - Prevents ability to tell the truth even when it is shoved in your face. Secretes an interrupting/talking-over-others/paranoia/hypocritical discharge that grossly increases the size of the ego to proportions larger than the skull sometimes forcing its way into the thyroid causing a large goiter-like bulge where the neck should be. Prompts visions of fictional "Wars" and Secular-progressive demons around every corner. (See McCarthybellum and the musical, "How Hitler Scapegoated The Jews"). Also controls the desire to sexually harass subordinates, endlessly pat one's self on the back and sue imaginary enemies into attaining massive sales of books.
Beckbulldungata - Deletes any evidence of evidence. Enforces style over substance. Also known as Danecook's Disorder.
Savagelium - Section of the brain that stimulates pure, unfettered hate. (See: Hitler brain diagram)
*Limbaugh Anal Lobe - Known as the "Brain's Ass," for its incredible physical similarity to the buttocks, this lobe is accordingly located in the rear of the brain. Influences ability to pull things directly from cyst-burdened posterior. Constricts compassion when ridiculing the disabled.
Gibsonwannabe Cord - Controls perpetual desire to be like the big boys. In the right-wing female pundit brain it is known as the Coulter Malkintent
Marklevinal Grating Gland - Sucks the air from the room, triggering a repulsive lack of control in volume and loathsomeness. Though the sound it produces appears to emanate from the nasal cavity, as with most talk show host brains it is derived directly from the anus. Persons standing within twenty feet of the sound emitted from the Marklevinal Gland may suffer involuntary nausea.
Hannitary Gland - Controls the loading up of a question creating as much as a five minutes introduction prior to being able to asking it. Also increases ability to deceive listeners to think the host is just like them.
Williamkristolata - Controls the ability to be wrong every single time while continually being asked to give an opinion.
Award-winning TV writer, Steve Young, is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (www.greatfailure.com) and his "All The News That's Fit To Spoof" appears in L.A. Daily News opeds every Sunday(www.dailynews.com/columnists).
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