Loud music not a problem? Okay, Bill, you won a day in a room with Ludicris blasting for twenty-four hours. How about some Oriental opera?; beautiful to them, not so much to us until we get used to it. Nah, I think all the rappers you rap would be a far more appropriate torture for you.
Finally, on the show staring torture denier par excellence, O'Reilly will get to experience the extremes of heat and cold that he pooh-poohs.
Striped down to his skivvies, because we really don't want to see his family jewels shrivel in the severe cold they'll be exposed, or swell, boil and drip sweat. Oooo, not a pretty picture.
Exposed to all this torture, and because it works according to Bill, it won't be long before he confesses all the lies he's told the Fool's fools cadre of his followers. He'll spill his guts about what really happened with Andrea Mackris to the tune of a multi-million dollar settlement.
Best of all, he'll fess up to why he's so afraid of that big bad man, Keith Olbermann. As it stands now, not only will he never utter Olbermann's name, but no one is allow to speak it either, or they face the consequences of a visit from Fox security.
Truth will out at the hands of the torturers, and O'Reilly will be forced to say the forbidden name...out loud for everyone to hear.
He won't be alone in this little horror show, because there will be appearances by Bush, Cheney, Gonzales and everybody in the government who signed onto these horrific torture memos that have brought shame upon all of us and the country we love.
Bullies all, they will easily crack under the tortures they have divined.
Bush will confess to approving ever dirty trick pulled by Karl Rove; every lie he's told; who outted Valerie Plame; what really goes on at Skull and Bones meetings; why his Saudi buddies were allowed to leave the country immediately after 9/11 and all his secret deals with them; how the fix was in on no-bid contracts and how much he and Cheney are profiting for them; and everything else he's guilty of.
Cheney will spill the beans about his highly secret energy meetings; why he shot his friend on a hunting trip; how he fixed was his phoney v.p. hunt when he shot all of us by anointing himself for the position; where his secret location is; and all of his dirty rotten, behind the scenes skullduggery.
Finally, Gonzo will remarkably remember everything that went on in the Department of Justice.
All of them are so horridly unAmerican it's criminal for them to even call themselves Americans. These torturing cretins will be in very bad company, indeed in this little tortured house of televised horrors.
Finally, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth will be told for all to see and hear.
See...torture really works and we'll get to see it in action, applauding all the way.
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