This patently ridiculous situation is so typical of caretakers, in general, and mothers in particular. Some years back, when my father was fading both physically and mentally, my mother was hospitalized. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with her. The nurses instinctively knew that my mother was just plain worn out. They had seen this syndrome many a time, especially with women who are primarily responsible for their aging and ailing spouses. I tend to agree with the nurses’ diagnosis since my mother stipulated that she didn’t want my father to come to the hospital to visit her. She intuitively understood that she needed this time to concentrate on herself alone in order to pull herself together.
If you’ve ever traveled by air, you’re familiar with the flight attendants’ pre-take off speech on emergency procedures. I tend to block it out since I’m a nervous flyer at best. Yet something in their presentation stuck with me. If oxygen masks are needed because the plane begins to lose altitude, passengers are advised to take care of themselves before addressing the needs of their dependents. While that might initially sound counterintuitive, it actually makes a lot of sense. How can I take care of someone else before I’ve made sure that I myself am in good shape? A good take-away for life. If people, particularly women and mothers, need an excuse to take care of ourselves, there it is. We are most effective as care-givers when our own needs have been met. Let’s all keep that in mind.
Which brings me back to this challenge, this opportunity I face now. How strange and wonderful life is! Had my doctor not found the troubling lump (which had not shown up on the mammogram a short while before), I would not have ended up in surgery. Had I not needed surgery, I certainly wouldn’t have needed the pre-op tests that treated me to an inadvertently thorough check-up. In which case, my troubles with glucose would have remained undetected. So, while it’s up to me to rise to the occasion and do what I need to do to prolong my life, my health and my productivity, what began as a semi-traumatic event turns out to be a potentially life-changing one, a blessing in disguise. Only time will tell how I do with this second chance. Stay tuned. I’m cautiously optimistic; I truly want to succeed. Encouraging words are most welcome. Lemonade, anyone?
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