"The
merging of romance, sexuality, and marriage in the West occurred under
particular socio-historical conditions. Romantic love had its poetic
and artistic roots in Europe court circles of the twelfth and
fourteenth centuries and this 'courtly love' was not associated with
marriage, nor always with actual sexual relationships. Only when a
rising bourgeois middle class began to imitate the manners of the
aristocracy and create new, more stable and this-worldly uses for
romance did ideals of marriage begin to incorporate the notion of
courtship as a romantic precursor to marriage, and later, the idea of
maintaining a sexually exciting and romantically driven relationship
within marriage.
"Japanese ideas about love followed a similar
pattern, although the poetic courtly love traditions of the Heian court
(794-1185) did not filter down into later middle-class models. Unlike
the Western pattern, the merging of romance, sexuality and
family-building did not occur in Japan."
("Doing What Comes Naturally: Media and Marketing Constructions of Sexuality among Japanese Adolescents", Merry I. White)
They
say that when the native women of Hawaii first met Westerner sailors,
they were very taken with them and tried to seduce the sailors whenever
they could. That is how happy and full of life they were. That is how
innocent and full of love. They had so much Aloha in their hearts. They
just loved everyone and rejoiced in life.
And what happened to
the Hawaiians? Oh, it is very sad. They got diseases from the
Westerners-both STDs and other types. They were treated horribly and
all but wiped out. But what does that mean? Does it mean that they were
wrong? That love was wrong? In a world where there is danger, there is
caution to be taken. But I assert that their first instinct and
sentiment was right and good-to love everyone and to love them fully
and with all that you are. If we turn our backs on that, what is left?
Abstinence is not the answer. It is not the love of sex or the body
that is perverted but the hatred of these-that is perverted.
If
you identify with the message of this article, please email it to
people, tell your friends, even print out copies to pass around.
Together we can raise awareness. Thank you.
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Ben Dench graduated valedictorian of his class from The Richard Stockton College of New Jersey in the Spring Semester of 2007 with a B.A. in philosophy (his graduation speech, which received high praise, is available on YouTube). He is currently (
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