3.
Site all sorts of insane reasons for your actions, but always end up
blaming God. That's easily done by putting words in God's mouth, like
"God hates fags."
4. Be consistent. When you've got a good thing going, keep doing it the same way all the time. It's called "branding."
5. Make sure those apostate relatives don't get to the media before you do, if at all. They tend to spoil things. If they
say that you beat them when they were kids, tell the media that they're
lying, shake your head and tell them how sad you are that your children
have been led astray.
6. Memorize no more than a dozen passages of scripture that support you and your actions. Anything more is unnecessary. If you get hit with a difficult question, just make something up and cite an obscure book of the Bible like Hosea. Who reads the Bible anyway?
7. Be proud of your ignorance. When asked a complicated question, hold your head up high and tell them that the Lord hasn't given you an answer to that one...yet.
8. Use your family at all times, except, of course, the ones who've run away.
9. Maintain your core group in a compound. And since America always strains to believe the little guy, it's OK if the compound is made up of small houses or trailers. Million-dollar estates tend to put people off.
10. Have a phobia, any kind of phobia. America's full of phobias. Find one and stick with it.
11. Get ostracized by another country. This is always good publicity - it shows that people think you have influence.
And last:
12. Keep repeating all of the above until you reach the Supreme Court.
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
