Howsoever, immobilized after wrecking my car, I
started building mobiles and hanging them from my bedroom ceiling. More
interestingly, Mark and Paula and I started stoning out on bennies, grass, and
red wine, nude at night in the light-dimmed living room. The unclothed
part was new to me. Moreover, I'd lusted for Paula from the first time I
saw her. Although my attraction to Paula never became blatant in our
evening stoner sessions, I knew Mark was hyper-aware of it. But to all
appearances, Mark was oblivious to my lust for Paula. In time, I realized
why that must have been. On one subject, and one subject only, Mark could
be counted on to give Paula a hard time -- her failing to enter sufficiently
into the spirit and practice of their wife-swapping.
It was Paula's pretty, hardheaded fidelity to her
concept of traditional Christian values that prevented her from joining equally
enthusiastically with Mark in their wife-swapping soirees. Nonetheless, I
wasn't surprised when Paula appeared in my room by my bedside before light one
morning and said Mark had told her to come have sex with me. I said, 'But do you want to?' Paula left without a word. A while
later she came back, saying, '...this isn't just because Mark
told me to do it....I do want to, you know, I really do....'
That was the only time Paula and I slept together, and late in the spring of 1972, I found transportation and started a trek which ended with me living in Oakland. But not before a quiet evening in Concord when the family and I were eating supper at the dinner table.
Baby John was gurgling and struggling in his high chair while Mark talked about some of my Mexican co-workers who were dissatisfied with so many bennies instead of dinero for their labors. One of the Mexicans had mentioned it to him, and Mark had told him that if he didn't like it, he could quit -- Concord had plenty of unemployed Mexicans willing to take his place.
'You know, Paula, I just can't give a damn about those guys,' Mark said. 'Compared to my family responsibilities, those guys are nothing. You, me, and Baby John are all that matters.' The man was almost radiant. 'Nothing comes before putting food on the table and having a good place for the three of us to live. We're a family, and, f*ck anybody who tries to interfere with me taking care of my family.'
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