"For delivering newspapers."
"Newspapers, being part of the media, fall under the constraints of the Media Control and Security Act."
"I never heard of that."
"It's a subsection in Patriot Act Four."
"Mr. Withers, Jason won't be writing articles for the newspaper, he'll just be distributing it."
"It's still a media job and falls under the purview of the aforementioned legislation."
"Jason's eleven years old."
"Your point, Mr. Foreman?"
"My point. Let's see, he's in the fifth grade, he's never been arrested, he doesn't use drugs, he's an A student, his major interest in life is basketball..."
"I know all that. It's right here in his application form."
"I guess I'd like to know what kind of security risk he could present by riding his bicycle around the neighborhood and tossing newspapers by people's front doors?"
"None, I'm sure. Jason seems like a fine boy. However, though I didn't write the law, I must obey it. If you're not happy with it, I suggest you discuss it with your congressman. So, if you would kindly take these questionnaires for you and his mother to fill out and sign at all the places I've put a checkmark and either mail them in or drop them off within three days we'll be able to give Jason his training session and assign him a delivery route."
"Mr. Withers, in the questionnaire number one is, "Are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?' And then likewise for the Socialist Workers Party, Posse Comitatus, any other militia group, any extremist group, etc. This sounds eerily like the McCarthy witch hunts. Frankly, Mr. Withers, I'm not feeling altogether comfortable with these questions and this whole background check."
"Do you have something to hide, Mr. Foreman?"
"No, certainly not."