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The Little Boy Who Knew Everything - A Grim Fairy Tale

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Once upon a time but not so long ago there was a little boy who thought he knew everything. What makes this story unusual, however, is that the little boy did know everything. He was just born that way. You might expect the people around him to be happy there was someone who knew everything to help them solve their problems and learn new things from but that didn't happen. Instead, they became immensely annoyed for who wants to be around someone who thinks he knows everything even if he does know everything correcting everyone's mistakes and making them feel stupid?


So it was that the little boy's parents, siblings, teachers, classmates, and everyone in town grew to hate him. You see, it's good to be smart, but not too smart, because if you get too far ahead of the curve people will become immensely annoyed with you because no one wants to look stupid even if they are. People can live with being stupid, but it's the looking part that is so galling. In fact, the stupid people of the world - which some days seems like nearly everyone - have an unspoken agreement they will not point out each other's stupidity, especially in public,* and consequently manage to stumble through life with their stupidity intact.

(*unless they are running against each other for political office, in which case all bets are off)

But when someone breaks that agreement - or doesn't even know of it since they are not stupid and don't have to worry about looking stupid in public - people don't just get immensely annoyed, they get extremely immensely annoyed, in fact, extremely immensely annoyed enough to do something to that person to shut them up or make them go far far away.

Now the funny thing is that even stupid people are capable of being devious. In fact, geneticists have discovered the smart gene is at one end of the DNA strand while the sneaky gene lies all the way at the other end so they are not only independent of one other, they have never even met. Also, when the gene associated with ethics (midway between the smart and sneaky genes) is turned off as it is in lots of people these days, the sneaky gene can go to town and do whatever it feels like with no remorse or second guessing itself. This helps explain the activities of the present leadership of the world.

But back to our story.

The little boy w-k-e and was t-f-a-o-t-c - too far ahead of the curve - was aware he was not popular but he didn't care because why would a little boy w-k-e care what dumb people think? So he didn't, and suffered the big mistake other t-f-a-o-t-c people make by underestimating how sneaky stupid people can be and the things they are good at, such as: getting you to vote for them; smooth talking you into investing in businesses about to go belly up; signing you up for a mortgage you can't afford; telling you you'll get a million dollars from a bank in Nigeria if you give them your credit card numbers; passing laws so they can do anything they want to anybody, anywhere, at anytime; framing other people for mean things they've done and sending them off to jail; going on television and telling gullible old ladies God wants them to give him all their money; and lots more things like that.

So... one day in school, the little boy w-k-e was bored and staring out the window. His Teacher was always trying to catch him in a wrong answer but never could, and he had caught her in a few wrong answers, so she hated him too. When she saw the little boy w-k-e yawn, she thought this was her chance and quickly called on him. But even when he was sleepy, he still knew more than her and answered the question correctly and then gave a short discourse because he found it fascinating and thought they might too, but instead it immensely annoyed the teacher and his classmates.

The biggest boy in the class, who was also the stupidest boy in the class and the quickest to anger, yelled out, "You think you know everything, don't you!"

The little boy w-k-e answered him honestly and said, "I do know everything. I was born that way. It's just how it is."

But this only made the boy angrier. He snarled and fumed, but try as he might, he could not think of anything clever to say, so he did the only thing he knew how to do when he was frustrated. He punched the boy w-k-e in the face and knocked him down.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time."

"But why?" asked the boy w-k-e as he looked up from the floor. "Why do you want to hurt me? I've never hurt you. I don't even know your name."

"Exactly," said the big stupid boy. "You think you're too good for the rest of us, you think you're better than the rest of us."

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Leni Matlin was born in NYC and attended Brooklyn College before moving to California in his twenties. For the better part of his adult life, he has worked as a musician (keyboards / vocals) and played in more bands then he can remember, while (more...)
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