Borowitz Satire -- Trump Signs New Travel Ban Preventing Republican Senators from Fleeing

Donald Trump on Wednesday signed an emergency travel ban preventing Republicans from fleeing the United States Senate. The executive order calls for the relocation of three hundred Border Patrol officers from the Mexican border to Washington, D.C., in order to form what Trump called “a human ring of steel” around the Capitol Building. Under the travel ban, Republican senators will be permitted to leave their seats in the Senate chamber for meals and bathroom breaks but will be strictly forbidden from speaking to journalists in the building’s corridors.