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Diary

The Parable of the Key

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Another one of Franklin's pedantic parables.

"The Loughsthaupe Corporation of Gilded Turd Texas had a very specialized product. It produced the unique fabric dye for the most popular red hat in America. The CEO of Loughsthaupe Inc. was Emerald "Flipper" Dumpf. He got his nickname from the occasional sounds he made, when laughing or angered, that were very similar to the vocalizing of that famous television porpoise.

One very humid morning Tom Blancke, the head chemist of the Loughsthaupe Corporation, overslept due to a severe hangover. He was late to the morning managers meeting. Towards the end of the meeting Mr. Dumpf asked Mr. Blancke for the key to the safe that held the only copy of the formula for the special red fabric dye. Upon reaching in his pocket to retrieve the key Mr. Blancke became even paler and sweatier than he already was -- the key was not there. Once Mr. Dumpf became aware of the situation he uncontrollably started making the porpoise noises and slamming his fist on the table.

CEO Dumpf then, using numerous foul and odious profanities, berated Tom Blancke horribly, shouted at his secretary for not making a copy of the key, asked the Vice President, harshly, why he hadn't thought about having a copy made, called the head of maintenance on the phone and accused him of being part of a plot to make him look bad, exclaimed loudly that too many of the employees were "fat," took down a portrait of his predecessor, stomped on it and accused him of gross malfeasance and witchcraft.

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Tom Blancke felt really awful for what he had precipitated. He didn't have the courage to tell CEO Dumpf that he had been celebrating his Mother's recent diagnosis of being free of cancer the night before and had probably left the key in his pants at his parent's house, having driven home in a pair of his Father's, way to large, swimming trunks.

The moral of the story is: A true leader would have called a locksmith."
From "The Parable of the Key" by Franklin Cincinnatus

 

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Kevin is (writing about yourself in the third person (illeism) is a trip) an artist/writer/carpenter and frustrated songwriter living in Johnson City, Texas. His latest frustrating songwriting attempt is titled, "I Touched the Hand That Touched (more...)
 

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